The premise is that they have a kind of travelling surgery with some doctors in it, and you can bring your embarrassing bits to show them, and they tell you what's the matter and then - hopefully - cure you. Or tell you it isn't that embarrassing.
The slight drawback - from the patient's point of view - is that, whilst they're reassuring you how unembarrassing your rude bits are, they are showing them in full-frontal Technicolor to the whole nation.
What intrigues me is - why on earth do people agree to this? Will people do literally anything to get on the telly?
And the answer seems to be a resounding YES. I don't understand why. I don't know why people want to be on telly in the first place, unless they're actors or presenters.
I've been on telly twice, oh yes. Firstly, in some YTV programme presented by Miriam Stoppard in nineteen-seventy-something. I stood there demurely in a frock and asked a question about acupuncture. I got paid eight quid. I wasn't too thrilled with any part of it, except for the eight quid, which was enough to buy a small house or something in those days.
The second time was in some BBC2 discussion programme about public transport, which was quite possibly the most boring programme ever made. I asked, by prior arrangement, a question about trams and got a vile lie in response from some scheming politician, and then wasn't allowed to come back with my reply.
And if I'm never on telly again, I can't say I'll be bothered.
However, I digress.
The first Embarrassing Bodies programme was filmed in Leeds, so I was especially interested about what embarrassing bits could be found in my home city. It was about skin problems and featured, amongst other things, a lady who had a hideously embarrassing skin tag on her anus. So embarrassed was she about it that we only got one glorious close-up. Mind you, they repeated it about four times.
Then there was Sore Willy Man, who was going to get married, but who couldn't have sex because of his Sore Willy, which was shown to us in all its glory (it did look very sore). I bet his fiancee was delighted, now the whole nation has seen it, and I bet his mates won't ever mention it. Well, not more than two or three times a day for the next twenty years or so. Perhaps it won't be so sore by then.
Last night was Breasts and I have to say I marvelled at the poor woman whose boobs were each the size of Brazil. She had them reduced in size, and I think that was the right thing to do: I was less sure about A-Cup Woman who had breast implants because everyone agreed that her boobs had shrunk after having babies. I was less sure because I don't believe in having operations unless they're absolutely necessary (as I think it was with Brazil-size Woman who was having back problems from the sheer weight): and also because I just don't like the idea of breast implants.
It's on tonight and tomorrow. Tonight - Ladyparts. Tomorrow: Manparts. (What is it about his show that's making me go all coy? I'm not usually coy, and I'm not usually embarrassed about any body parts or problems - I've had a baby and I've done a heck of a lot of medical roleplays. So I'll stop the coyness. Vagina. Penis. Testicles. That should do it).
We've already seen the Woman with Too Much Skin in a shot only normally seen on terrestrial television when a baby's being born. She turned up, stylishly dressed, and then removed her stylish knickers and showed us the lot.
Yes, I think it's great if people can talk about things that embarrass them about their bodies, and I hope that the programme will lead to other people being able to go to their doctor about things that they would previously find too embarrassing. But I just don't know why the people on this show are happy for us to see all their tricky bits (oh look, I'm going coy again).
Anyway, not being used to seeing lots of women's breasts, I have to say I was rather surprised, and I must say, in a low whisper, that I ended up feeling rather pleased with mine. But I'm not going to tell you why and a photograph doesn't follow.