Sunday, February 10, 2013

In the Dreamtime, a Lion

I can't believe that it's been so long since I've written a blog post but it's been partly because things have been going remarkably well for my mother.

After her first chemotherapy, the cancer marker in her blood dropped by 60%.  It's still high, but she's a lot better and can now go out into the garden again on her own.  Since then she's had another round of chemotherapy, which went well and didn't give her many after-effects other than to be a bit sleepy for a day or two.

So I've been spending a lot of my spare time - which there isn't much of - with her.   I've been having a good time "in the moment" which, as I've written before, isn't like me at all.

The days have been fine.  However, as is usual with me, if things aren't too bad during the day, then my mind gives me hell when I'm asleep and I have lots of bad dreams.  Some are nightmares - - others just vaguely sad, or vaguely annoying.

Last night the first dream I remember was that I was about to do an open-water swim but I couldn't find anywhere to put my glasses whilst I swam.  All very difficult.

The second one was a bit more odd.  I was auditioning as a presenter for some hospital radio station and I thought that, with all my experience in working with medical students and suchlike, I might be in with a chance.  But sadly, they auditioned everyone else and when it got to my turn the Bright Young Thing in charge - all red lipstick and high heels -  said "I'm sorry, we don't need to see any more."

I was really upset, and said so.  "Ah well," she said, in overly-bright tones.  "At least you came to the audition."

"And how does that benefit me?" I said haughtily, before waking up.

Now I can see that all that kind of thing incorporates lots of my daytime worries - - losing my glasses, not being able to see, not being able to do something I really want to do, the injustice of the way that actors are treated - - - etc etc.

Then I went back to sleep and woke at about six o'clock with a surprisingly optimistic verse in my head.

I think I've said before that this does happen to me sometimes.  I invent rhyming verse in my sleep.  I had an image in my head of a rather jolly lion wearing a top hat covered in sequins - - this lion had the positive, cheery personality of my mother's gentleman friend, and some elements of a children's book that Olli once owned, called The Lion In the Meadow.  But more than that I cannot explain.

Here's the verse: make of it what you will.  If I could paint, I'd paint it.

In Summer the lion's in full twinkly time of his hats.
In Winter he wanders and ponders on thises and thats.
In Spring he turns green, cos he can and for no other reason
And in Autumn he roars, just because it's his favourite season.






6 Comments:

Blogger Silverback said...

Top Tip : Cut down on the bedtime drugs.

4:28 pm  
Blogger Jennyta said...

I remember 'The Lion in the Meadow'! Keep up with the verses and you'll be able to publish a book yourself Daphne. :)

5:40 pm  
Anonymous Jay at The Depp Effect said...

I'm so glad to hear your mother is doing so well! It's really very understandable that your subconscious is fretting so much, you have a lot to process and worry over. However, your lion verse is great fun and shows you still have the optimism in your soul!

5:45 pm  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

The doctor is IN.

The hospital radio station represents your life. What the Bright Young Thing said to you, "At least you came to the audition", reveals your persistence, your willingness to try, your dogged determination to play a meaningful role. The seasons also represent your life, and I'd say you are currently in late summer or early autumn. You feel like roaring because in spite of professional setbacks and family health problems, you enjoy living in the NOW, just as you have told us you are doing.

I made up every bit of the foregoing out of whole cloth. I have no clue what your dreams or your verse mean. But it is sure interesting to read about them.

8:38 pm  
Blogger Daphne Franks said...

Silverback: forget it. I have to have SOME fun.
Jennyta - - yes, it's a lovely book.
Jay - thank you very much indeed.
Bob - - I love your analysis! Love the way you've written it too - glorious!

9:57 pm  
Blogger Jan Blawat said...

If you write the lion book, maybe Katherine from NZ would illustrate it.

8:00 pm  

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