Scorchio

Here's the part of the beach in Barcelona where our hotel is. This was yesterday, November 3rd. Why people go to Spain for the winter when they could be in glorious British greyness I really don't know.

I've never really liked going to any foreign country (not that I've done much of it, until recently) without knowing the language, at least a bit.

So I've been trying to learn a bit of Spanish before I came here.

A few years ago there was a recurring sketch on the television series The Fast Show which was supposed to be part of a Spanish television weather forecast, with Caroline Aherne as the weather girl.

Whatever the introduction was, the summary of the weather was always lot of pictures of the sun and the exclamation "Scorchio!"

And I think that's the language I'm speaking in Barcelona.

The main language spoken in Barcelona is Catalan: then Spanish and there's quite a bit of English too. Catalan written down looks a bit like Spanish with more t's and j's in it (that could perhaps be an over-simplification!)

So, I have very very basic Spanish. Muy bien. Hola. That kind of thing. However, I did five years' Latin at school. Though it was quite some time ago. Mind you, when Miss Rose taught you Latin, you learned it thoroughly or a terrible fate would befall you. Also, I did a year's Italian at university. And, yes, yes, I know, that was quite some time ago too. 1974-1975 was the year of my Italian and, no, before you ask, the Romans weren't still in power.

Oh, and some Welsh at evening classes, and some German ditto. Both entirely useless in Spain, I tell you now.

Anyway, in amongst all this I learned French at school and, as with Miss Rose, when Miss Pullan taught you French you ended up knowing it pretty well or spending your whole life in detention (they were very fierce, those old grammar-school spinster schoolteachers). So French is the only language apart from English that I'm pretty confident in.

So the result of all this is that I'm pleased to find that I can understand the kind of written Spanish that you get on notices about things, especially when you know that it's likely to be about the opening hours or whatever. And they have helped me a bit by throwing in the occasional English word such as "Futbol" for soccer, which is excellent.

But, of course, I can't really speak Spanish, so I am conversing in some kind of hybrid European language which I term Scorchio. The kind of language that you find in hot countries which has lots of the letter a in it.

Nobody seems to mind - in fact they seem very tolerant as I rummage in the dictionary and throw in a few words which I hope will make sense. Most people do speak at least a few words of English but they seem pleased that I'm trying.

But I'm getting rather fond of Spanish, and when I get home I want to try to learn some more, properly, so I know some grammar and that kind of thing. Because I'm getting rather fond of Spain too, and hope to return.