Flying Toddlers
Those readers who've been reading this blog for some time (and I thank you!) may remember that about eighteen months ago I kept going on about the exciting refurbishments that were happening to our local Sainsbury's, such as the creation of Smelly Aisle, where there lurked the scent of death and decay and nobody seemed to know why, and they had either hired staff with no sense of smell or trained them all never to mention it.
Finally the Reek of Putrefaction faded and all returned to normal, except, I suppose, for the family of the missing builder, who are no doubt still wondering what happened to him.
Another thing was the Small Children's Sink in the Ladies.
They built a row of sinks with a small one at the end. So far so good - - excellent idea, so that small children could reach to wash their hands.
The only thing was, they put it at the wrong end, just next to the door. If the child stands directly in front of the sink his or her safety is more or less assured. However if - as small children tend to do - the child dares to move round to the side of the sink, then said child is directly in line of the opening door.
On my first visit to this Ladies I watched with interest and not a little horror as a large lady pushed the door open, sending a small toddler flying across the room.
On my second visit, some weeks later, the same thing happened. The door flies open. The toddler is thrown over backwards. The toddler yells. Does the mother complain to the shop? I don't think she does.
Of course, Big Gob here can't resist pointing out to the nearest member of staff that toddlers are generally not intended to fly, and explains what has happened. She looks at me as though I'm a bit mad.
Well, the months have gone by, and I had forgotten this exciting potential for disaster. Until today.
As I was standing combing my hair (yes, I do comb it, it's just curly, okay?) I noticed a toddler standing on Death Row round by the side of the little sink.
"Excuse me," I said, "but it might be a good idea to move your toddler out of the way of the - - "
and BANG! The door opened and the toddler flew across the room.
So, how many times in the last eighteen months has this happened? Health and Safety are always, it seems, up to something daft such as stopping children from playing conkers. But where on earth are they when you really need them?
Finally the Reek of Putrefaction faded and all returned to normal, except, I suppose, for the family of the missing builder, who are no doubt still wondering what happened to him.
Another thing was the Small Children's Sink in the Ladies.
They built a row of sinks with a small one at the end. So far so good - - excellent idea, so that small children could reach to wash their hands.
The only thing was, they put it at the wrong end, just next to the door. If the child stands directly in front of the sink his or her safety is more or less assured. However if - as small children tend to do - the child dares to move round to the side of the sink, then said child is directly in line of the opening door.
On my first visit to this Ladies I watched with interest and not a little horror as a large lady pushed the door open, sending a small toddler flying across the room.
On my second visit, some weeks later, the same thing happened. The door flies open. The toddler is thrown over backwards. The toddler yells. Does the mother complain to the shop? I don't think she does.
Of course, Big Gob here can't resist pointing out to the nearest member of staff that toddlers are generally not intended to fly, and explains what has happened. She looks at me as though I'm a bit mad.
Well, the months have gone by, and I had forgotten this exciting potential for disaster. Until today.
As I was standing combing my hair (yes, I do comb it, it's just curly, okay?) I noticed a toddler standing on Death Row round by the side of the little sink.
"Excuse me," I said, "but it might be a good idea to move your toddler out of the way of the - - "
and BANG! The door opened and the toddler flew across the room.
So, how many times in the last eighteen months has this happened? Health and Safety are always, it seems, up to something daft such as stopping children from playing conkers. But where on earth are they when you really need them?
posted by Daphne at 11:12 pm
3 Comments:
I blame the mother.
I mean after at least 3 flying episodes, I'd have thought the ditzy woman would've worked out that the sink by the door was NOT the place for her toddler.
And said toddler must've racked up enough airmiles by now to be flown to a store with safer restrooms.
Many stores here have a Smelly Aisle but as the groceries being sold there come under the banner of 'International', then I suspect no dead bodies can be blamed for the smell.
I've heard of flying monkies, but never flying toddlers!
I think you should word a helpful warning notice to put up above the sink of death, something along the lines of "standing to the side of this sink may result in sudden flight across the room". Although you would probably also have to provide an explanatory illustration to highlight the exact nature of the danger.
Of course the design of toilet facilities frequently baffles me. Do people who design them never use public loos? Or maybe they are just men who have never had to shimmy into a tiny cubicle navigating their way past a badly sited toilet paper dispenser whilst trying not to drop their shopping into the toilet bowl. Never mind the added complication of children in the equation.
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