Fantasy Men
I've always felt uncomfortable when a group of women get together and start complaining about their husbands or boyfriends or partners or whatever, as a kind of pastime. I may, perhaps, be fortunate in that I've never had anything to complain about: but what I'm talking about here is not the serious complaints, it's that "and you should see what he does in the bathroom" stuff, especially when it's just used as a form of amusement.
Of course, men may do the same thing, but, as Jane Austen well knew, men's conversation changes when a woman appears on the scene, so I don't know if they do.
(Look, I know this post is what may be termed hetero-normative, ie assuming everyone's straight: I'm really not assuming that, but bear with me please because this is from my point of view, as a straight woman.)
Anyway, when women behave like that I don't like it - I feel that telling all your female friends, in that kind of condescending way, what your partner does with his socks etc, is wrong. And I can honestly say that I've never done it! Hurrah!
It's partly a respect thing - I hate it when women do that "oh, MEN, they're SO - - whatever" in a genuinely complaining way (in contrast, Laura, I loved your post Man Thing on July 8th because it was both affectionate and very funny).
A few times I've been in a room with men and thought, with reference to a particular bloke, "Hey, he really does NOT like women." Fancies them, perhaps, but doesn't like them. Men like that don't interest me at all (nor, let's face it, do I interest them, because I am not early-twenties eye-candy).
Occasionally, I've been listening to some women's conversation and thought "You really don't like men, do you, even though you may fancy them?" And that, I feel is a shame, and their loss, because I do like men, some of them, very much indeed. Apart from the horrible ones, obviously.
I was asked today what men - fantasy men, not real ones - Do It For Me and my first thoughts were my old favourites - they are old too, now, bless 'em - Robert Redford and Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Why? Dunno. Good-looking, yes, but it's really, actually, not that, - - action men, but it's not just that - - witty with it, yes, I like that. I suppose it's the combination.
But, d'you know what, I'm immune to the charms of just about every other Fantasy Film Hunk. Sean Connery - - no - - Daniel Craig - - no - - (enjoyed the Bond film though) Tom Cruise - - does he count? - - anyway, no - - Russell Crowe - - no - - and I can't think of any others, which shows how much I care, or don't, I suppose. - - Oh, all RIGHT then, I did fancy Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, but then who didn't? I quite like a bit of darkly-brooding-suppressed-passion.
The least attractive or interesting type of man is the Himbo: men with lots of muscles but nothing between the ears. I'm totally immune to them. I think this is one area where there is a difference between straight men and straight women - - okay, a difference between straight men and- well - me, as a very small sample of all the straight women in the world. Men can fancy someone without wanting to have any kind of conversation with them. And I just never do.
Fantasy men, in general, therefore? Forget 'em. At least as far as I'm concerned. Mostly. Apart from Mr Darcy.
Of course, men may do the same thing, but, as Jane Austen well knew, men's conversation changes when a woman appears on the scene, so I don't know if they do.
(Look, I know this post is what may be termed hetero-normative, ie assuming everyone's straight: I'm really not assuming that, but bear with me please because this is from my point of view, as a straight woman.)
Anyway, when women behave like that I don't like it - I feel that telling all your female friends, in that kind of condescending way, what your partner does with his socks etc, is wrong. And I can honestly say that I've never done it! Hurrah!
It's partly a respect thing - I hate it when women do that "oh, MEN, they're SO - - whatever" in a genuinely complaining way (in contrast, Laura, I loved your post Man Thing on July 8th because it was both affectionate and very funny).
A few times I've been in a room with men and thought, with reference to a particular bloke, "Hey, he really does NOT like women." Fancies them, perhaps, but doesn't like them. Men like that don't interest me at all (nor, let's face it, do I interest them, because I am not early-twenties eye-candy).
Occasionally, I've been listening to some women's conversation and thought "You really don't like men, do you, even though you may fancy them?" And that, I feel is a shame, and their loss, because I do like men, some of them, very much indeed. Apart from the horrible ones, obviously.
I was asked today what men - fantasy men, not real ones - Do It For Me and my first thoughts were my old favourites - they are old too, now, bless 'em - Robert Redford and Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Why? Dunno. Good-looking, yes, but it's really, actually, not that, - - action men, but it's not just that - - witty with it, yes, I like that. I suppose it's the combination.
But, d'you know what, I'm immune to the charms of just about every other Fantasy Film Hunk. Sean Connery - - no - - Daniel Craig - - no - - (enjoyed the Bond film though) Tom Cruise - - does he count? - - anyway, no - - Russell Crowe - - no - - and I can't think of any others, which shows how much I care, or don't, I suppose. - - Oh, all RIGHT then, I did fancy Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, but then who didn't? I quite like a bit of darkly-brooding-suppressed-passion.
The least attractive or interesting type of man is the Himbo: men with lots of muscles but nothing between the ears. I'm totally immune to them. I think this is one area where there is a difference between straight men and straight women - - okay, a difference between straight men and- well - me, as a very small sample of all the straight women in the world. Men can fancy someone without wanting to have any kind of conversation with them. And I just never do.
Fantasy men, in general, therefore? Forget 'em. At least as far as I'm concerned. Mostly. Apart from Mr Darcy.
posted by Daphne at 10:44 pm
4 Comments:
Do you know, Daphne, I have always adored Anton Rogers and that's about it as far as 'out of reach' men go.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neil Diamond does it for me. Always has. I wonder if his significant other, if he has one, talks about him leaving his underwear on the bathroom floor?
What about the tenth doctor?
That episode last series which contained David Tennant, Derek Jacobi, John Barrowman *and* John Simm had me all aflutter.
Julie
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