Hair and No Hair
I had my hair cut today, which is why I think I should write this post tonight - it seems appropriate.
I've never liked my hair because of its determination to curl, and its thickness, and its refusal to grow downwards into, say, a nice pony-tail when I was young. Neglect it for a couple of months and there's yards of it, all growing outwards rather than downwards. I've always hated the way hairdressers look at it with disapproval and say "Oh, it's so thick!" as if I'd somehow done it on purpose to annoy them.
Of recent years I've tamed it by keeping it really short - as soon as it starts its curling tricks, it's for the chop. As soon as my mother begins to like it - she'd really like to put a ribbon in it, like she did when I was six - I know that's the warning sign, and off I go to be driven mad and bored stiff for a couple of hours' so-called "pampering" - oh how I HATE that word - at the hairdresser's.
Tonight I watched Embarrassing Bodies - the last episode, about men - and, incidentally, I saw more male genitals than you could shake a stick at, should you wish to.
But actually, the story running through the programme which intrigued me most was about the four men who were going bald, and who were trying different treatments to stop it.
It's not been something that I have ever given much thought to, and suddenly all my complaints about the thickness of my hair seemed a bit unnecessary.
The four men were all trying different methods to either halt their baldness or regrow their hair.
The only treatment that seemed to work well was a hair transplant which cost thousands and seemed a heck of a lot of fuss. The others didn't seem to work at all.
But then, it seemed a lot of fuss to me - but to the bloke concerned, it seemed like a really good idea, because his baldness clearly bothered him.
I wondered why I'd never really thought about male baldness before. And the reason is, because I don't care about it in the slightest: it just doesn't matter to me whether a bloke is bald or not.
After the programme I did a comprehensive survey of all the men in the house at the time, which was just Stephen. His hair is still dark, not grey: he's got a bald patch on top but people don't tend to notice it too much because he's quite tall.
"So, Stephen, does it bother you that you're going bald?"
"Not enormously, no."
"And why don't you think you're too bothered about it?"
"I put that down to my stress-free life with you."
Good answer! - - Though did I detect just the teensiest hint of irony?
Anyway, here is Daphne's Theory of Bald Men.
1) Men whom I like, I like whether or not they have hair
2) Men who are attractive are attractive with or without hair
3) Hair is good
4) No hair is just as good
5) The only thing about men who are going bald which can ever be deemed unattractive is the Combover look, where the few remaining strands are grown to a length of about six feet and combed over the top of the head.
6) Or the Ponytail look, now I come to think about it, where there's a bald bit in the middle of the head and the bits round the edges are grown long and straggly and scraped back into a pony tail. This is possibly the worst look of all.
Although I'm making light of it, there is a serious point: I was genuinely struck by how important their hair was to these men in the programme. And yet I bet most women are like me: they just don't mind one way or the other.
I've never liked my hair because of its determination to curl, and its thickness, and its refusal to grow downwards into, say, a nice pony-tail when I was young. Neglect it for a couple of months and there's yards of it, all growing outwards rather than downwards. I've always hated the way hairdressers look at it with disapproval and say "Oh, it's so thick!" as if I'd somehow done it on purpose to annoy them.
Of recent years I've tamed it by keeping it really short - as soon as it starts its curling tricks, it's for the chop. As soon as my mother begins to like it - she'd really like to put a ribbon in it, like she did when I was six - I know that's the warning sign, and off I go to be driven mad and bored stiff for a couple of hours' so-called "pampering" - oh how I HATE that word - at the hairdresser's.
Tonight I watched Embarrassing Bodies - the last episode, about men - and, incidentally, I saw more male genitals than you could shake a stick at, should you wish to.
But actually, the story running through the programme which intrigued me most was about the four men who were going bald, and who were trying different treatments to stop it.
It's not been something that I have ever given much thought to, and suddenly all my complaints about the thickness of my hair seemed a bit unnecessary.
The four men were all trying different methods to either halt their baldness or regrow their hair.
The only treatment that seemed to work well was a hair transplant which cost thousands and seemed a heck of a lot of fuss. The others didn't seem to work at all.
But then, it seemed a lot of fuss to me - but to the bloke concerned, it seemed like a really good idea, because his baldness clearly bothered him.
I wondered why I'd never really thought about male baldness before. And the reason is, because I don't care about it in the slightest: it just doesn't matter to me whether a bloke is bald or not.
After the programme I did a comprehensive survey of all the men in the house at the time, which was just Stephen. His hair is still dark, not grey: he's got a bald patch on top but people don't tend to notice it too much because he's quite tall.
"So, Stephen, does it bother you that you're going bald?"
"Not enormously, no."
"And why don't you think you're too bothered about it?"
"I put that down to my stress-free life with you."
Good answer! - - Though did I detect just the teensiest hint of irony?
Anyway, here is Daphne's Theory of Bald Men.
1) Men whom I like, I like whether or not they have hair
2) Men who are attractive are attractive with or without hair
3) Hair is good
4) No hair is just as good
5) The only thing about men who are going bald which can ever be deemed unattractive is the Combover look, where the few remaining strands are grown to a length of about six feet and combed over the top of the head.
6) Or the Ponytail look, now I come to think about it, where there's a bald bit in the middle of the head and the bits round the edges are grown long and straggly and scraped back into a pony tail. This is possibly the worst look of all.
Although I'm making light of it, there is a serious point: I was genuinely struck by how important their hair was to these men in the programme. And yet I bet most women are like me: they just don't mind one way or the other.
posted by Daphne at 10:26 pm
4 Comments:
One of the unfairnesses of life, Daphne. Men can actually appear more attractive when they are bald. The big problem with hair loss is when it's a woman's problem.
I am fortunate to have kept all my hair into middle age but I am very aware of the sensitivities of other men to their baldness. One of my best friends became bald in his early twenties and you know, even though he is now fifty he still hides regrets and a degree of self-loathing about this feature of his appearance. Regarding your "thick" hair - I am sure that you could soften it with a change of shampoo/conditioner. I know this because my wife also has thick, wiry hair and a recent shampoo change has significantly affected the "feel" of her hair.
Your problems with your hair are, surely, to do with a racist beauty standard...
Apparently afro (and jewfro, I guess) hair needs different looking after to "white" hair. People think their hair is unmanageable long because no-one ever told them that...
(apparently, anyway - do I know anything about hair?)
So the hairdressers mean "It's so JEWISH! And I personally can't make it look nice! That's the fault of the hair, not me."
Obviously I like men with hair. But if it's a choice between a bald man and the man with the lumpy head from that very television programme...
ew
ew
ew
ew
*dies*
I also watched the doc, was interesting! And yeh, the male baldness was one of the few non 'explicit' features they were doing in that episode! Like you say, more men's bits and bobs than you could shake a stick at!
Post a Comment
<< Home