Reasons to be Cheerful
Yes, Gareth has finally had his operation, after being Nil By Mouth since Tuesday whilst they did various tests and then whilst they waited for a slot for his operation.
They finally did it at two o'clock this morning. Why this unearthly hour?
Was it because they didn't want to leave it till the morning in case the infection got worse?
- - - er, no.
Was it because they took pity on him since he'd been hanging around waiting for it for two days with no food?
- - - er, no.
Was it because it just happens to be a twenty-four-hour operating theatre and that was when his slot came up?
- - - er, no. They don't usually operate on non-emergencies after midnight.
Was it because they felt he'd had enough stress and been messed around enough, what with it being nearly a month since he first got appendicitis, and him being in and out of both major hospitals in Leeds as well as encountering the Butchers of York in the first place?
- - - er, no.
So what other reason could there possibly be?
The answer is - - - drum roll - - - they want his bed for someone else today, so they needed to get him out of hospital!
Inside Gareth they found a piece of mesh packing, a 1927 map of Tasmania, a single by Ian Dury and the Blockheads and a very small student nurse who'd been observing the original operation.
What? I exaggerate, you say? Surely not. - - Well, the packing was certainly there, a leftover from one of the previous occasions when they'd rummaged around inside.
Let's play the single, shall we? Gareth, this is for you.
They finally did it at two o'clock this morning. Why this unearthly hour?
Was it because they didn't want to leave it till the morning in case the infection got worse?
- - - er, no.
Was it because they took pity on him since he'd been hanging around waiting for it for two days with no food?
- - - er, no.
Was it because it just happens to be a twenty-four-hour operating theatre and that was when his slot came up?
- - - er, no. They don't usually operate on non-emergencies after midnight.
Was it because they felt he'd had enough stress and been messed around enough, what with it being nearly a month since he first got appendicitis, and him being in and out of both major hospitals in Leeds as well as encountering the Butchers of York in the first place?
- - - er, no.
So what other reason could there possibly be?
The answer is - - - drum roll - - - they want his bed for someone else today, so they needed to get him out of hospital!
Inside Gareth they found a piece of mesh packing, a 1927 map of Tasmania, a single by Ian Dury and the Blockheads and a very small student nurse who'd been observing the original operation.
What? I exaggerate, you say? Surely not. - - Well, the packing was certainly there, a leftover from one of the previous occasions when they'd rummaged around inside.
Let's play the single, shall we? Gareth, this is for you.
posted by Daphne at 10:04 am
11 Comments:
One of the reasons for him to be cheerful is that he managed to survive the worst that the NHS could throw at him.
I hope that mini-me nurse washed her hands before getting in there; after all, the last thing Gareth needs is more infection.
Lock up your fridge (as it's a bit late to lock up your daughter !). Be VERY afraid.
I suspect it's quite common for things to be left inside patients following operations. I remember my mum getting quite angry that the hospital hadn't been notified of the stitch abcess that followed my appendectomy cos she said they should know in case the surgeon had left anything behind. I hope Gareth now has a speedy recovery and a good lunch. And the patient who gets his bed has a more cheerful experience than he has endured.
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Bloody hell! Such agony. Such unjustifiable delay and then the buggers leave stuff inside him! To cap it all they operate on him at some ungodly hour - almost as if they were saying "It's your bloody fault the packing was left inside Gareth so we are going to screw up your body clock as much as we can by operating on you way past midnight!" It must be great to be a member of the caring professions! Grist to your role play repertoire.
NHS still so dire.
Hope he sues; I would.
Ouch, ouch and treble ouch! Is there any comeback against the first load of butchers ..... sorry doctors ..... who beggared his insides up in the first place? My late sister was a theatre nurse and she said they had to count all the swabs in and out to make sure they DIDN'T get left inside the patients!
How positively awful for Gareth! (I used this oxymoron on Ian's blog today and didn't want you to feel slighted).
I once saw the sign "N.P.O." on a hospital room door and said to my registered-nurse wife, "That means Normal Post Op, doesn't it?" to which she looked at me as though she had married the most stupid person on the face of the earth and replied, "Nooo-o-o, that means Nothing By Mouth"...thanks for helping to dredge up that memory.
We once heard a doctor testifying in a courtroom, when reminded by the opposing lawyer that he had left a sponge in a patient, say that it was "an act of God." It takes all kinds.
Ewwwww, your poor son in law. Did you play him this song? I bet he laughed and laughed, (Hee hee). And I love the image of you giving your brain a sloosh in the last post.
Oh, and na na na na na space pirates.
Yay! I've been so worried about him. I hope they FINALLY got everything out of him that doesn't belong in him!
Thanks, everyone, for your comments and good wishes (though I'm still singing that blasted Space Pirates song, Jo).
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