Friday, May 29, 2009

Thoughts in a Spring Garden

Here are the flowers at the bottom of my Mum's garden. The Communist always used to call it "the jungle" and I always think of that phrase, in his voice, when I'm there.

It used to be an orchard with several apple and pear trees and grass growing underneath. Now most of the old trees have died, except for the big old pear tree: and these are actually rather exuberant flower beds - some of the flowers are wild, some cultivated, but they are all there on purpose and my Mum knows the position of every one of them.

I like rather wild gardens like this. I used to love the orchard too - for many years it had an old tyre hanging from one of the trees which I used as a swing when I was a child. It was big enough to seem really wild to me when I was little - - in fact, when I was a very small child I was pretty convinced that a bear lived there somewhere and I would never go down there by myself.

I love the sense of history in the garden. When we moved into the house in 1959, it hadn't been cultivated recently: we dug much of it over and there was Victorian pottery in every spadeful.

I feel protective towards it. Many of the plants, or their ancestors, have been there for decades, and the garden's full of little flocks of sparrows that we've been feeding for years, plus many other birds too.

Mind you, I'm like that with people too - I always want to protect those I care about. I want to save them from all harm and all unpleasantness and to bring about things that they'll like. I am always full of naive optimism that I'll be able to do it, and I'm at my happiest when I feel I've succeeded, in no matter how small a way.

In spite of the things that happen in life, and that have happened to me, it never seems to change, that feeling of "You'll be all right because I'll make SURE of it." Because it's so much my default setting, I have to try to stop myself overdoing it. If I had to sleep next to Attila the Hun I'd probably wake up with a protective arm around him.

I've always felt like that, as long as I can remember. I wonder if I'll ever stop. If I did, I don't think I'd be me any more.


Blogger Kippers Dickie said...

I'm a bit protective when it comes to plants. I find it very hard to throw plants on the compost heap and end up giving them another chance to flower. My garden is very wild and full of things that really should have been dug out years ago.
(like hundreds of bulbs that come up every spring and never flower).

8:26 am  
Blogger Debby said...

Then I hope it never stops as I like you how you are!

2:27 am  
Blogger Dizzy said...

I'm glad you're protective, especially as you now have BOTH my offspring within nurturing range!

6:01 pm  

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