Friday, June 19, 2009

Fish and Biscuits

On Wednesday this week, Silverback and I were in the Secret Garden at Blenheim Palace, on our way back from Oxford. I wasn't too struck on the Secret Garden at first - it all seemed a bit artificial - but after a while its prettiness grew on me.

We came across a pond with some large carp in it and Silverback was taking photographs of them. One or two blew bubbles at the surface and this looked far more interesting than when they were just swimming around, seen from above.

So I thought I'd try to encourage them to do this by feeding them and the only thing I had that might make food of interest to fish was the biscuits from the bed and breakfast (yes, the ones from my room. I didn't eat them at the time but I did pocket them for later. Go on, lock me up and throw away the key).

The fish were very keen. It was exactly like piranhas stripping all the flesh from a horse in under a minute - - only with big goldfish and oatmeal biscuits instead. But it was a feeding frenzy all right. From now on they'll be refusing fish food in favour of biscuits, cakes and burgers and will get fat and unhealthy on their new junk food diet, and it will be all my fault.

I'm not scared of many creatures. Oh well, apart from the dangerous ones, such as lions. I mean I don't mind spiders or creepy crawlies or snakes at all. Apart from the poisonous ones.

And I'm not actually scared of fish - - but I just hate it when I tread on one in the sea, or when one brushes against me. Could I have waded into that pond whilst all the carp were in a biscuit-eating frenzy? - - Well, probably, if I had to, but I would have hated it.

I think it dates from when I had a whole tankful of goldfish as a child and I had to clean them out and whilst I was catching them the others would swim past and touch me - - ewwww no. I wonder if it's just me who's freaked out by this.

I tried half of one of the biscuits, purely to save the fish from too much junk food and it was delicious. Okay, this has been Daphne, late at night, with more news about biscuit-eating fish than you perhaps wanted to know.


Blogger Debby said...

I would like a biscuit. I wish I were in your pond!

3:34 am  
Anonymous Gertrude Pickwick, Oxon said...

Dear Daphne,
I stumbled across this blog accidentally and what is even more of a co-incidence is that I am Gertrude Pickwick - part owner of Pickwicks B&B in Oxford.

Imagine my distress and disgust when I discovered that you had been thieving biscuits from my establishment! What is England coming to when even mature B&B guests like yourself and that ungracious Irish rogue you were with think it is acceptable to rip off their generous hosts in this disgraceful way!
I have already been in touch with Thames Valley Police who will be contacting their West Yorkshire colleagues in the very near future. You haven't heard the last of this you biscuit thieving harlot!
Yours angrily,
Gertrude Pickwick O.B.E.

12:59 pm  
Blogger Daphne said...

Debby - I would email you one if I could, they were delicious.
Gertrude - I can only give you my most grovelling apologies. I have strayed off the path of righteousness and must be punished. Though I must point out, for accuracy, that the camera-wielding gentleman who was my partner in this fish-feeding crime is from Northern Ireland and should therefore be described as "British".
When I get out of jail, I'll come down to Oxford and bring you some Yorkshire Puddings as recompense.

3:05 pm  
Blogger Silverback said...

Yes YP I am NOT Irish and your IP address, if not your writing technique, betrays your cross dressing escapade.

4:18 pm  

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