A Grand Goodbye
So, in a photograph that you may have seen before, here I am with The Communist in 1960, before he grew his beard and even before I got my glasses:
And here's our favourite recent photograph, which was taken by Silverback on my mother's birthday, April 20th this year:
I didn't want us all to be looking at the coffin whilst we talked about the Communist, so, with Silverback's permission, we had the photo made into a huge poster which was propped in front of the lectern at the crematorium and then we put it on the wall at the hotel where we went afterwards.
It was a wonderful funeral. My brother Michael and I pointed out at the beginning that it was not, of course, at all what the Communist would have wanted - he wanted a trip to Tenby, a seafood salad, a false leg and to sing us some of the many hundreds of songs he knew. At eighty-five, he really wanted to carry on living.
Very many of his friends and relatives came - some from a long way away. I'd particularly like to thank Ruth who has been manning our office and driving up and down the roads to Oxford on what seems like a near-daily basis recently. Many others who couldn't get there sent lovely messages. Ruth Horsley, (a different Ruth from the one mentioned earlier!) who was the Celebrant who ran it, had done a fantastic job - several people assumed that she had known the Communist well, and she had never met him - she'd listened carefully as we talked about him one evening earlier in the week and written it all up beautifully.
Our friend David made a great speech, mostly about the Communist's acting, and also he read an excerpt from a lovely email sent to me by Silverback. Sid, who has been the Communist's best friend for over seventy years, (and who is Another Communist) also made an excellent speech of which the part that moved me the most was when he said, "Knowing Ron has made me a better person."
John took some photographs afterwards - I was so pleased when he offered to do this as there are never photos taken at funerals, and yet it's great to see everyone.
I'd like to finish with just two of the many lovely messages that we've received.
From Martin Riley (actor, writer and all-round Good Thing):
My love to you and to everyone today - thinking of that big hearted theatre-loving man of the people, Ronnie, who always took an interest in us all and was always ready and up for an adventure of the heart and mind. His spirit really does live on - that energy, in all of us - a great afterlife for a traditional Jewish Communist.
And from Steve Anderson, actor and friend:
A beautiful soul in a ragged overcoat.
Thank you, thank you, everyone.
And here's our favourite recent photograph, which was taken by Silverback on my mother's birthday, April 20th this year:
I didn't want us all to be looking at the coffin whilst we talked about the Communist, so, with Silverback's permission, we had the photo made into a huge poster which was propped in front of the lectern at the crematorium and then we put it on the wall at the hotel where we went afterwards.It was a wonderful funeral. My brother Michael and I pointed out at the beginning that it was not, of course, at all what the Communist would have wanted - he wanted a trip to Tenby, a seafood salad, a false leg and to sing us some of the many hundreds of songs he knew. At eighty-five, he really wanted to carry on living.
Very many of his friends and relatives came - some from a long way away. I'd particularly like to thank Ruth who has been manning our office and driving up and down the roads to Oxford on what seems like a near-daily basis recently. Many others who couldn't get there sent lovely messages. Ruth Horsley, (a different Ruth from the one mentioned earlier!) who was the Celebrant who ran it, had done a fantastic job - several people assumed that she had known the Communist well, and she had never met him - she'd listened carefully as we talked about him one evening earlier in the week and written it all up beautifully.
Our friend David made a great speech, mostly about the Communist's acting, and also he read an excerpt from a lovely email sent to me by Silverback. Sid, who has been the Communist's best friend for over seventy years, (and who is Another Communist) also made an excellent speech of which the part that moved me the most was when he said, "Knowing Ron has made me a better person."
John took some photographs afterwards - I was so pleased when he offered to do this as there are never photos taken at funerals, and yet it's great to see everyone.
I'd like to finish with just two of the many lovely messages that we've received.
From Martin Riley (actor, writer and all-round Good Thing):
My love to you and to everyone today - thinking of that big hearted theatre-loving man of the people, Ronnie, who always took an interest in us all and was always ready and up for an adventure of the heart and mind. His spirit really does live on - that energy, in all of us - a great afterlife for a traditional Jewish Communist.
And from Steve Anderson, actor and friend:
A beautiful soul in a ragged overcoat.
Thank you, thank you, everyone.
posted by Daphne at 5:23 pm
4 Comments:
Oh Daphne, it was a lovely lovely funeral, in so far as any funeral can be lovely.
The celebrant (what a great word cos of course what we were doing was celebrating a life rather than mourning a death) was indeed wonderful. She did particularly well in picking up on things other people had said and incorporating them into her bits too. Mind you, she is called Ruth so you can't go far wrong!
I never gave you that big hug before I left - sorry - the call of the M1 was too great for me to resist!
It sounds like a lovely farewell, in celebration of a good man's passing at a ripe old age. You will think of him every day from now until eternity.
That is the measure of a good funeral, Daphne, that it is the celebration of a life rather than a mourning of a death.
It sounds like the perfect farewell. It really won't be farewell though as you've got your memories. Being able to be there with him those last days will be a comfort. Having a lovely funeral ceremony instead of a sad, weeping one will also be a comfort.
I started reading your blog on a regular basis because I adored the stories you wrote about your Dad. They reminded me so much of my Dad. I bet there will be more.
Huge transatlantic hugs to you and your family.
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