Magic Roundabouts
"They use them to attract the metal boxes known as cars," said one of the Little Green Men, hovering over Yorkshire in his spacecraft. "but, as yet, we're not sure why. It happens twice a day though - thousands of cars from all over the region all rush to the big circles. So many of them that they can't all get there. They all stand, one behind the other, outwards from the circles for an hour or so and finally they all go off somewhere. We can't see the point to it at all."
I've explored the delights of two of these roundabouts today, and I have to say, I can't see the point either.
Firstly I had the delights of Leeds's finest - the imaginatively-titled Armley Gyratory. It's always on the news. Accidents, floods, fires - - always at the Armley Gyratory. Probably there's some sort of natural law that when a place is already deeply unpleasant it draws more unpleasantness unto it. Huge great thing, lots of exits with lanes all narrower than the road you're on, masses of traffic - and no room for error, oh no, one wrong move and you're halfway to Manchester when you wanted to be in Bradford, or vice versa.
And then, en route to Halifax, I encountered the roundabout known as Ainley Top. I've always thought it sounds rather romantic, with an atmosphere of moorland mists and Brontes.
"Cathy! Cathy! Ah'll meet thee on Ainley Top at midneet."
If she'd tried it, she'd've been crushed beneath a truck. You come off the M62 and, going round clockwise, you can aim for Rochdale, Halifax or Huddersfield with a side order of Brighouse if you wish. And, whichever lane you're in, it's the wrong one. There's a helpful notice telling you that 4,983 people have been killed there since about last Thursday but don't, whatever you do, stop to read it or there'll be a man coming to change the sign to 4,984 tomorrow.
I got to Halifax and did some interesting work with some nurses about Breaking Bad News.
Then I had to encounter the joys of Ainley Top and the Armley Gyratory all over again. In reverse order. In the rush hour. In the dark.
Some bits of Yorkshire are God's Own County, all right. And some bits aren't.
I've explored the delights of two of these roundabouts today, and I have to say, I can't see the point either.
Firstly I had the delights of Leeds's finest - the imaginatively-titled Armley Gyratory. It's always on the news. Accidents, floods, fires - - always at the Armley Gyratory. Probably there's some sort of natural law that when a place is already deeply unpleasant it draws more unpleasantness unto it. Huge great thing, lots of exits with lanes all narrower than the road you're on, masses of traffic - and no room for error, oh no, one wrong move and you're halfway to Manchester when you wanted to be in Bradford, or vice versa.
And then, en route to Halifax, I encountered the roundabout known as Ainley Top. I've always thought it sounds rather romantic, with an atmosphere of moorland mists and Brontes.
"Cathy! Cathy! Ah'll meet thee on Ainley Top at midneet."
If she'd tried it, she'd've been crushed beneath a truck. You come off the M62 and, going round clockwise, you can aim for Rochdale, Halifax or Huddersfield with a side order of Brighouse if you wish. And, whichever lane you're in, it's the wrong one. There's a helpful notice telling you that 4,983 people have been killed there since about last Thursday but don't, whatever you do, stop to read it or there'll be a man coming to change the sign to 4,984 tomorrow.
I got to Halifax and did some interesting work with some nurses about Breaking Bad News.
Then I had to encounter the joys of Ainley Top and the Armley Gyratory all over again. In reverse order. In the rush hour. In the dark.
Some bits of Yorkshire are God's Own County, all right. And some bits aren't.
posted by Daphne at 7:35 pm
4 Comments:
Of course you haven't really experienced the full delights of roundabouts until you have done Swindon. Swindon has more roundabouts than any other place I have driven round including the infamous Magic Roundabout. Yes, it is called the Magic Roundabout. No, there is nothing magic about it.
But Swindon is so renowned for its roundabouts there are whole websites dedicated to them and, as we approach Xmas (alright I know it's still a long way off) I thought you might like to consider this as a Xmas present (probably for somebody you don't like that much):
http://www.roundaboutsofbritain.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=118
It's a well known fact that there are no roundabouts in America.
It's also not true. But there aren't many.
Basically the country is so big that where there could be roundabouts, they just build huge on-ramps and off-ramps to keep traffic flowing so drivers won't spill their morning coffee over their McMuffins.
But we do have a lovely one here in the old part of Sebring. Locals still seem baffled by it though and few help out by indicating before their chosen exit - thankfully traffic is very light and it's not a real problem.
Try doing it on the Armley one and see what happens !!
Ian
Thank you both for your comments - I have never been to Swindon, and I am afraid that you have not tempted me, Ruth.
Of course I've never been to America either, and although I AM tempted I realise there is much I do not know - - including the paucity of roundabouts. But since most of my impressions of America are based on an amalgam of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Midnight Cowboy, that is perhaps not surprising.
We went on a casino coach trip to Tampa a while ago and as we went along, I was looking out the window and the end scenes from Midnight Cowboy came to mind.
Powerful movie (with a great soundtrack) and one I'm about ready to see again.
Ian
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