The Gemm of Laf
Reader, I taped it. I was out last night and before I went I set it to record. I just pressed that little button. I knew it was wrong and yet it felt so right. The Eurovision Song Contest.
And then today (and in mitigation, I did LOTS of ironing) I watched it.
Some countries sing in their own languages and you can, if you’re not careful, find yourself thinking that there might just be some hidden meaning in their lyrics.
Others however, choose to sing in English to make sure that you know there is no meaning. The foreign accents merely emphasise the banality of the lyrics:
In thees gemm of laf you always ween (thank you, Belarus)
I gotta go crazy just to stay sane, sang Finland, before admitting, sensibly, Leave me alone, I want to go home.
Lithuania introduced some interesting rhymes:
Words lose their sense
When I feel you near
When I touch your hense
There seemed to be a lot of desire for world peace: In my world we’ll live in harmony, sang Macedonia.
At the bottom of the pit of hell was Ireland which was like a parody of an Irish entry with a Dana-like Irish maiden in a damsel frock, plus a team of men on violins and whistles all doing the Celtic thing for all it was worth. There were just two problems with it: firstly the damsel just could not sing. She approximated her way round every note in a way that made me put the iron down and gaze at the screen in bewilderment. Secondly, the lyrics were completely inaudible, something about They may steal the honey - - and no, I wasn’t going to listen to it again to try to work it out. Everyone else liked it as much as I did and it came bottom.
There was a good deal of what my old drama teacher called meaningless arm-waving throughout the contest, and lots of special effects.
As for poor old Scooch and the UK entry, it looked as though it was going to be Nul Points until very near the end. I rather liked it – like a parody of a Eurotrash song, it had uniforms, a silly dance, and a chorus with lots of badabada-type stuff in it. I think it neatly satirised the whole competition and it should have won, so there.
But we’ll never win again, and it’s time we realised that, because all the Eastern European countries with names ending in – ia all vote for each other, and they cannot be blamed for this. They know there’s more to it than just a poxy singing contest – they are from regions which have been subject to strife and division for hundreds of years and they know that “you didn’t vote for us in Helsinki” could count again them in years to come. To us, it’s frivolity, and we cared when Scooch lost, a bit, but not for very long - - and by tomorrow lunchtime we’ll have forgotten all about it. To Eastern Europe, it is not just a singing contest, more a gemm of laf.
And then today (and in mitigation, I did LOTS of ironing) I watched it.
Some countries sing in their own languages and you can, if you’re not careful, find yourself thinking that there might just be some hidden meaning in their lyrics.
Others however, choose to sing in English to make sure that you know there is no meaning. The foreign accents merely emphasise the banality of the lyrics:
In thees gemm of laf you always ween (thank you, Belarus)
I gotta go crazy just to stay sane, sang Finland, before admitting, sensibly, Leave me alone, I want to go home.
Lithuania introduced some interesting rhymes:
Words lose their sense
When I feel you near
When I touch your hense
There seemed to be a lot of desire for world peace: In my world we’ll live in harmony, sang Macedonia.
At the bottom of the pit of hell was Ireland which was like a parody of an Irish entry with a Dana-like Irish maiden in a damsel frock, plus a team of men on violins and whistles all doing the Celtic thing for all it was worth. There were just two problems with it: firstly the damsel just could not sing. She approximated her way round every note in a way that made me put the iron down and gaze at the screen in bewilderment. Secondly, the lyrics were completely inaudible, something about They may steal the honey - - and no, I wasn’t going to listen to it again to try to work it out. Everyone else liked it as much as I did and it came bottom.
There was a good deal of what my old drama teacher called meaningless arm-waving throughout the contest, and lots of special effects.
As for poor old Scooch and the UK entry, it looked as though it was going to be Nul Points until very near the end. I rather liked it – like a parody of a Eurotrash song, it had uniforms, a silly dance, and a chorus with lots of badabada-type stuff in it. I think it neatly satirised the whole competition and it should have won, so there.
But we’ll never win again, and it’s time we realised that, because all the Eastern European countries with names ending in – ia all vote for each other, and they cannot be blamed for this. They know there’s more to it than just a poxy singing contest – they are from regions which have been subject to strife and division for hundreds of years and they know that “you didn’t vote for us in Helsinki” could count again them in years to come. To us, it’s frivolity, and we cared when Scooch lost, a bit, but not for very long - - and by tomorrow lunchtime we’ll have forgotten all about it. To Eastern Europe, it is not just a singing contest, more a gemm of laf.
posted by Daphne at 9:11 pm
1 Comments:
Oh Daphne - I LOVE Eurovision!!!! We went a to a party where everyone was randomly assigned a number and that was the country you had to cheer for (I got Hungary). We had to drink every time there was a key change or Wogan said something inappropriate, or the hostess changed her dress (only 3 times, I was disappointed). And yes, the lyrics were amazing - my favorite was Russia "My bitches standing next to me".
Bring on next year!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home