Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I Told You So

Okay, I didn't really tell him. But I would have, if he'd had the sense to ask me. Don't do it, I'd have said. It will all turn out badly. Believe me.

My friend David says I'm cursed with being right but often lack the courage to push home my knowledge.

Sometimes I try, though. I wrote to my MP at the time they were considering building the Millennium Dome and told him it was all going to cost a lot of money and be a disaster. I suggested he should go outside and ask the first twenty people he saw whether they were planning to visit it and, if they said they were, that'd be fine but otherwise, forget it.

He wrote back a rather sheepish letter which suggested that he probably agreed with me but all the money was in place and it was all going to happen and nobody could stop it.

Back to more recent events.

Anyway, I was a bit sweet on Paul when I was eight or so but he didn't seem to remember this or ask my advice when he was thinking of marrying Heather.

"Rearrange these two words," I would have said to him. "One is Digger and the other is Gold."

The publication of the court judgement proves me right.

Never mind the main stuff she was after: let's have a look at the Other Expenses, shall we?

£499,000 for holidays
(accommodation at £242,000, helicopter flights at £35,000, commercial flights at £72,000 and private flights at £150,000)
£125,000 for her clothes
£30,000 for equestrian activities
£39,000 for wine
£43,000 for a driver
£150,000 for dining out, entertaining and other interests in the UK

Yes, yes, she's a big supporter of charities, we know, we know. And I know that the judge, in making the award, reduced her claims by a hundred million quid. But that's a hell of a lot of clothes, and wine, and horse riding, isn't it?

Okay, perhaps I'm in the minority these days in believing that once you've got more than a certain amount of stuff, once you're what the rest of us would class as rich, then your happiness doesn't increase proportionally to your wealth. A designer frock might seem a necessity, but surely it's what you do whilst wearing it that counts.

If she really wanted to come out of it all with some credibility, wouldn't it have been great if she'd said,

"He was a very rich man who'd fairly recently lost his wife. And I look a bit like her, so I suppose that's why he approached me initially. But it didn't work out and it was a short marriage. I want our daughter to have as normal an upbringing as possible. If he wants to give her some money that's fine. A couple of million would be great for me - that's plenty. I want to earn my own living."

Fat chance. But Paul always seems a decent bloke, and I wish I'd been wrong.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

£43,000 for a driver? I'm obviously in the wrong job. And surely it's not very green of her to employ someone to be her driver. Mind you, there is no sum in there for the car, perhaps they have to bring their own.

9:44 pm  
Blogger AmyTree said...

The whole thing just makes me sputter with outrage. I took no sides at all (and risked enraging The Dude) because, well, Paul is JUST A GUY at the end of the day, who happened to make some noises with some other guys and people heard the noises and saw that they were Good... (God, I'm so going to hell here aren't I...). So I tried to be impartial (nosy as all hell, but impartial). But of my GOD Heather what is your problem!?? You have emerged from the whole thing with £25 million more then most of us will ever hope to see, and STILL you whine and complain about how hard-done by you are. It's unladylike and vulgar - didn't your mother ever tell you that Greed is an ugly thing?

Saw a magazine cover the same day as the verdict came out, with Karry Katona on it under the headline 'I am the most hated woman in Britain'. Not for long love - you're just pitied - Heather Mills is both reviled and scorned.

Not that I have an opinion one way or another, mind you.

9:32 am  
Blogger Malcolm Cinnamond said...

£39,000 for wine? Is there any chance I can be the next Mrs McCartney?

Heather is such an ugly person. She must have known what she was signing up for when she married a Beatle. You couldn't have it tougher if you married Jesus Christ himself. The fab four are untouchable - particularly to the 40/50something age group who control the media.

Oh dear god! As I write this, there's Heather on GMTV, banging on again about how hard done by she is.

When in a hole, STOP DIGGING!

8:37 am  

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