Breakfast Time with the Cheery Hungarian

"So, that's one vegetarian cooked breakfast," said Cheery Hungarian Waiter in his excellent though heavily-accented English.

Over the past few years there has been a small invasion of Eastern European staff at the hotel. They have all been excellent but Cheery Hungarian Waiter is a particular favourite of ours. His cheeriness knows no bounds, but it's not a fake cheeriness, more a full-of-the-joys-of-life type of cheeriness. He is very efficient at the same time. And - top marks, in my book! - he always arranges for the open-air swimming pool to be opened half an hour early so we have more time to swim before breakfast.

(Yes, I do know that in most hotels taking the cover off the pool might not, perhaps, be the waiter's job. At Park Hotel everyone tends to do what needs to be done, as far as I can see).

He looked to Gareth next.

"A vegetarian breakfast, please, but with scrambled eggs, not fried eggs, and no beans," said Gareth.

He turned to me. "Fruit platter, please." Oh yes, I was being very virtuous. Also the fruit platter is delicious: several kinds of fruit and each in perfect condition.

Then to Stephen.

"Full English breakfast, please."

"Ah, good," said Cheery Hungarian. "That is very easy to remember. " He turned to Olli. "And for you?"

"Vegetarian breakfast but with no mushrooms and no tomatoes, please."

Then he turned to my mother, who can never say things when put under stress.

"Errrrrrrr - - - what do I want?"

"Do you want just bacon and eggs, Mum?" I said, because I could guess.

"Yes, yes, that's it. But not too much. They always give me too much."

"So." said Cheery Hungarian. "On this lovely day, beautiful sunshine outside, eh? Beautiful! What you want is as follows. One vegetarian cooked breakfast. One vegetarian breakfast with no mushrooms and no tomatoes. One fruit platter. One full English breakfast. One just bacon and egg, but not too much. And, finally, one vegetarian breakfast with scrambled eggs, not fried eggs, and no tomatoes."

"Sorry," said Gareth, "mine was with no beans, not no tomatoes."

"Nooooo!" shouted Cheery Hungarian to the heavens, waving his arms wildly in the air in a gesture of mock-sad resignation as he headed for the kitchens to fetch it all. "I am JUST SO SHIT TODAY!"

I am never going to be a waiter when I grow up. But oh, my goodness, I love Park Hotel.