Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Long and Winding Road to Wythenshawe

What is it about satnavs eh? (If you're in America you don't call it a satnav but I can't currently remember what you do call it, sorry! I've had a long day.)

I was working in Wythenshawe Hospital this morning, which is about 60 miles away. I've been there a few times, letting the satnav take me, and the way she takes me is this:

On to the M621 in Leeds, which joins onto the M62. Continue along that for a long way whilst it gets higher and I get stuck behind some lorries which can't really do the climb. Past the spot where the motorway splits in two round a farm and past Junction 22 which is the National Fog Store. Even when there's no fog at all in the rest of the country, they keep a bit of fog at Junction 22 just in case it's needed anywhere. Then I pass the sign that says it's the highest motorway in England and then begin the descent down towards Rochdale.

Shortly afterwards the satnav says "continue onto the M60" and immediately after that there is a left fork and a right fork, both labelled M60. So a quick panic followed by remembering that it's the right one that I need.

After a bit more M60 it's on to the A5103 for a bit and then turn off to the left and go straight into a housing estate. Up lots of narrow roads with no signs for the hospital anywhere: over a million speed bumps. Down a road that's blocked at the end and the satnav really doesn't like it when you turn round instead of driving straight into the brick wall.

"Perform a U-turn where possible."

"It's blocked off you stupid idiot!"

"Perform a U-turn where possible."


Finally, down a long and winding country lane and in through the back entrance of the hospital.

What's that all about then, Satnav?

Anyway, today I decided to outwit her by staying on the A5103 for another junction and seeing what happened.

She wasn't pleased.

"Exit left."

"SHAN'T! Because you know NOTHING and you're WRONG!"

I came off at the next junction. There was a sign saying "Wythenshawe Hospital" to the right.

"Turn right".

Ahhhh well that was cheating. I think she was reading the sign.

A straight road, signposted all the way, and several miles nearer than Satnav's Scenic Route.

Did she apologise? Nope. Did she explain her love for housing estates, narrow roads, blocked routes and speed bumps? Nope.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to do it all again, because I'm co-running the same workshop again, with different students (and today's group were fantastic, by the way).

Perhaps tomorrow morning I'll get an apology.

"Yes, Daphne, you were right and I was wrong. Perform a U-turn where possible and go your way."


Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

Wythensawe - what an unattractive name. It makes you think of mill chimneys and things withering away in the Lancashire gloom. To be hospitalised in such a place must seem like the end - "Go straight ahead and enter the pearly gates".

1:41 am  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

I don't have a GPS (our term, Global Positioning System), but could your satnav have settings such as "most direct route" or "fastest route" or "main roads" that can be jiggled a bit one way or another to alter the route?

3:24 am  
Blogger Daphne said...

Satnavs live in a world of their own where they know best. On Wed I was trying to get to a place near the Royal Armouries - always get confused round there, and so did the Satnav so what did the stupid woman do (her, Dora, not me) she just gave up - when I missed my destination she decided to give me no advice on how to find it again and such proceeded to tell me I had "reached by destination" - I know that's how they are meant to work but for once I needed her and she let me down! She also likes small residential streets as opposed to dual carriageways and motorways, despite the way I have put the settings. I want a big sign that says "Don't blame me, blame the satnav" for when I cut through back streets, estates etc!

7:25 am  
Blogger Daphne said...

P.S. I am not Daphne, but another Daphne who lives in Leeds, which is how I came across this blog - sorry for any confusion!

7:27 am  
Blogger WendyCarole said...

maps are best

10:41 am  
Anonymous Daphne said...

Who is the real Daphne?

9:35 pm  
Blogger Daphne said...

YP - Yes, I don't like the name either but I must say that the Education Centre there is a lovely, bright, clean modern building!
Bob - yes, it does indeed - it used to be far too motorway-centred but now I think it's gone too much the other way, preferring narrow roads and footpaths. Perhaps a bit of tweaking is called for.
Daphne - I totally agree with you and how great to have a Daphne reading my blog! We are few in number and it's good to know you're there.
WendyCarole - I still do like maps and never travel without one - I like the combination of both!

11:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love seeing that farm in the middle of the road! I keep trying to work out whether anyone's actually living there - if they are they have very good blackout linings.

And now someone's mentioned them: am I the only one who always thinks "Royal Ovaries" when that brown sign appears?

Julie paradox

9:53 pm  

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