Thoughts in an Autumn Park

I've been working almost all weekend. People tell me, quite rightly, that I'm doing too much - - working too hard - - but at times of stress that's what I do: it seems to be my way of getting through it all.

There's a lot to do in the actors' agency at the moment. I've recently taken over doing the financial stuff - - invoices, payments, receipts - - I used to do it all before, and actually I'm quite enjoying getting to grips with it again, and knowing exactly what's happening in the agency finances.

But because I'm just learning it all again, it's easier to work on it at the weekend when the phone's not ringing.

Also, they have decided to operate on my mother's shoulder on Thursday and this means I have to take her to hospital tomorrow morning for tests. Well, I don't have to - but I could tell that the nurse who rang me thought she should have someone with her, and my brother's in Amsterdam - though coming over for a visit later in the week - so it's down to me.

So that's more time away from the agency - and I could do with being in the agency on Monday morning as I'm working with my university groups of medical students on Monday afternoon and Tuesday afternoon. On Thursday morning I'm doing a roleplay about postnatal depression - I'm too old to do it of course but the students never seem to notice - I think they can't tell the difference between any ages over about thirty! It's a really well-designed teaching session and I know the students always get a lot out of it.

The rest of the week I'll be working in the agency's office in our house. I know it's a busy week ahead so that's why I have been working this weekend - to try to get ahead, or, at the very least, to not get behind.

But we did break out for a walk in Roundhay Park this morning and it was looking very pretty in the autumn sunshine.

I took some bread to feed the crows. Most people feed the ducks, of course - but I've always liked crows, ever since I looked after a crow for several months when I was a child.

A flock of seagulls came to join in: and there's a crow, top left, and a magpie on the ground, bottom right.

I did, of course, ask the magpie how his wife's getting on today - which is an old saying that must be said, because magpies must never be seen singly - - one for sorrow, two for joy - - and I don't want any more sorrow!

And since then it's been back to work. I enjoy all my work: and it feels useful, and feeling useful is really important to me.

But I can't see how the next few years will go. Of course, none of us can. I want to travel more, I know that. I don't want to watch my mother get gradually less able and more old - but the odds are that's what's going to happen. I've had jobs in the past that have been a lot more stressful than what I'm doing now - - but on the other hand, I don't think I've ever worked so many hours.

Sod it. Enough thinking. Back to the invoices.