My Very Brave Morning

First thing this morning - - well, at the crack of quarter past nine - - I was at the dentist's for a filling.

I haven't had a filling for years but when I went for a check-up a couple of weeks ago the dentist did an X-ray and found an area of decay in one of my top left teeth.

I arrived in good time for my appointment - - ie three minutes before it so I just had time to look at one of their magazines and see how thin Victoria Beckham has got when I was called through.

I was in the chair in a trice and she had some local anaesthetic squished against my gum for a few moments. Then, without giving me time to think, out came a HUGE needle and she poked it into my gum. I have to say that it didn't hurt at all - I just didn't like the look of it.

I've done quite a bit of work with dental students in the area of Communication Skills and I have to say that in general they don't seem to be very good at communicating with patients. Perhaps because all the patient can generally say in reply is "Ungh Wob" or similar.

My dentist was pretty good. She told me that if I needed a rest or wanted to swallow I should raise my hand and she would stop. A clever strategy if you ask me as everyone would then take raising their hand as a sign of un-British weakness, and endure everything with the utmost bravery, as indeed I did.

The dentist didn't talk me through what she was doing all the time, but actually I didn't mind. I just knew that there was going to be a chunk of time that I wasn't going to enjoy much and eventually at the end of it I would have a new filling.

There seem to be three main bits to a filling:

1) The drill that goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. This one's not too bad. It seems to work quite fast and only the noise is horrible.

2) The drill that goes BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. This one makes your whole head vibrate and is deeply unpleasant.

3) The squidgy stuff goes in.

The dentist seems to alternate both drills but without any explanation as to why.

So you get EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Squidgy Stuff and now you can rinse out and here are your glasses back thank you very much.

I knew she was working on the left side of my mouth so was concerned for a while when I could feel all sorts of knockings and things going on in the right side. Then I realised that these were just minor offshoots of the greater drama on the right side, which I couldn't feel at all because the whole left side of my head appeared to be numb. Without giving me any notice at all it appeared to have swollen to the size of Jupiter.

When it was all over I went back to the office where the sympathy I received from my esteemed colleague Jill consisted of "Go on, smile! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

So there we go. So now you know what to expect if you ever have to have a filling. It could have been worse.

Though you must remember that not everyone is as brave as me, because I am very, very brave.