Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Breaking the Chain

In the Olden Days, before the invention of t'interclacker, there were Chain Letters. Very common when I was a teenager - - they would arrive asking you to send them on to a certain number of people and this would bring you good luck. Of course, if you didn't, you foolish thing, you ran the risk of lots and lots of bad luck.

Many people were very frightened by these and spent a lot of time and money sending them on.

And now, they arrive by email.

Yesterday, it was horoscopes. Let's have a look at the one for Cancer, shall we (that's me, by the way).

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

Well, if you know me, you'll know that, as a matter of fact, a lot of that is accurate about me. And that's why I tend to say: "I don't believe in this astrology nonsense. - - Mind you, I'm a typical Cancerian."

But just because it happens to be fairly accurate on this occasion doesn't mean it's not a load of rubbish in general.

The friend who sent me the blasted thing in the first place sent it because he says he "fitted the Aries model so much, it's a bit scary."

So let's have a look at Aries, then, shall we?

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (Easily angered). Lively, passionate and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

Yes, well it might fit the chap who sent it to me like a glove - - but my husband Stephen, quiet introvert and Geek King, is also an Aries and although some of it may fit him the rest is so far off as to be hilarious. For example, he has endless patience (not that he needs it, being married to me, obviously).

So let's face it, some of it's right, some of it's wrong - - it's all hit and miss and even if you believe in astrology - which, as you may have guessed, I don't - a horoscope is never going to work as a one-size-fits-all.

But, if you don't forward the Cancer forecast, it offers you this:
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

And if you DO forward the Aries one, you get this:
16 years of good luck if you forward.

I don't know what happens if you fail to forward the Aries one. It doesn't seem entirely fair, does it?

And then there's the other kind. Today I got one of those "Forward this to all your friends including the person who sent it to you and you will see how many friends you have" soppy ones.

That's blackmail, in a way - - if you don't send it back to the person who sent it to you, will they think you're not their true friend? Well, d'you know what, O Person Who Sent It, I am your true friend - - and that's why I'm not sending it back to you, because it's a load of bollocks. (I know, I don't usually swear on this blog, but really!)

These are the modern-day form of chain letters and I heartily disapprove of them. And I am a protective Cancerian, see above. And I'm protecting my true friends from this guff by refusing to send it on to them.


OpenID lachatnoir said...

I quite agree! Uch, I cannot bear these new modern chain letters - when they pop up in my inbox they swiftly land in the trash can soon afterwards.

6:33 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

The email scams that have recently peed me off is where you get warnings from banks such as Alliance and Leicester about your internet account or whatever. To sort it out you need to send in your banking details. Trouble is I have never had any account with Alliance and Leicester. This has happened several times - other banks are involved as well but it is all just a scam no doubt operated by parasitical scumbags who misuse the internet for their own greedy ends.

11:25 pm  
Blogger Kim said...

I got an email of Abbey National the other day, I don't have an account with them

however the best one, was a text message I got that said 'our records indicate that you have recently had an accident and that you may be entitled to compensation, text (whatever) to (some random number). they had actually used there own mobile to send this, so I replied TO THEIR MOBILE
' your records are wrong I have not been in an accident stop sending me stupid texts' I got no reply, strange that

ohh and I owe you a birthday present :D


1:33 pm  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

I would thank you for not sending it on to me in true Piscean fashion if I knew what true Piscean fashion was, which I don't because you talked only about Cancer and Aries, and I'll be blamed if I'm going to look in a horoscope myself.

8:26 pm  

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