Saturday, June 27, 2009

In Mataland

Off we went this morning to Matalan, to buy Stephen some new trousers.

"It's not long since you bought some new trousers," said my mother, who was coming with us to try to buy a jacket, having reluctantly decided that she needs one.

My mother doesn't approve of buying new clothes. Every time I set off to buy some new clothes - and, Heaven knows, it's not often, twice a year at most - my mother says, with a small, resigned sigh of disapproval, "But you've got some clothes."

I don't know quite what her objection is but since I don't like buying clothes anyway, it brings me one step nearer to "Quite right! Well I won't then."

Anyway, the reason Stephen needs some new trousers is because he's got thinner. You know that thing they say about how if you have lots of exercise you'll lose weight, and we all go OH yeah, course we will, I'll do that one day but just not yet, could you pass the chocolate? - - Well, they are RIGHT. Stephen has been cycling twelve miles a day in total, to work and back for some time now and as a result he needed trousers with a ridiculously small 32" waist.

So off we went and we found the trousers and that was fine. And Mum couldn't find a jacket because the manufacturers had, according to Mum, made them all with arms that were far too long, and they were the wrong colours too.

So then, after all this, I thought I would have a look at the women's clothing and was faced with this kind of thing:

Arrrrgh! I turned to look the other way and there was this kind of thing:

I just freeze in these circumstances. Too much choice. Too many styles. Too many colours. No idea where to start - I just want to be out of there!

Actually, I was very good, I kept calm and managed to try on and buy both a skirt and a top, which was a bit of a miracle. They don't go together, of course, oh no that'd be too easy.

I don't like all this choice. I don't like it in restaurants either. I don't enjoy one meal so vastly much more than another that I want to spend half an hour deciding what to have. I just want someone to say, "Would you like the steak or the fish?" and the answer is steak, requiring no thought at all.

I suppose there are people who enjoy spending time browsing through all these clothes, and they may well be the same people who enjoy spending a long time looking at the restaurant menu.

I prefer clothes that I just happen to find when I'm looking for something else. For the rest of the time what I'd really like is The Black T-Shirt Shop - Three Styles, One Colour, Every Size.

Perhaps I should open one. I'd find out then if there are other people like me. Perhaps I'd be its only customer.


Anonymous Sir Reginald Q. Matalan said...

Dear Madam,
Shooting pictures in any Matalan store is strictly against regulations as such visual information could provide potential thieves with the insider knowledge they need to launch raids upon us. You are therefore banned from any West Yorkshire Matalan store for a period of seven days commencing today June 27th.
Yours etc.
Sir Reginald Q. Matalan

8:05 pm  
Blogger Daphne said...

Reggie - - thank you. I'm jolly grateful. Could you extend the ban for a bit longer?

8:12 pm  
Blogger Debby said...

I can't remember the last time I was clothes shopping. I am not a fan. I look at pictures of me from 10 years ago and realize I'm wearing what I had on in that picture! I've worn the same sweatshirt/turtleneck combo for my last 3 drivers license pictures. We get them every 4 years.

I like looking at menus though and deciding what to eat. I wish I had one right now.....

2:32 am  

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