Saturday, May 02, 2009

This'll Sort It

This is what we need.

What d'you mean, "What on earth is it?"

It's a panel for controlling the weather, and I found it in the garden centre. Look:

Isn't that comforting? WIND - - OFF! RAIN - - OFF! There should be another one: SUNSHINE - - ON!

I'm going to get one of these! I'll have it on a timer. From, say, April to September I'll just leave Sunshine set to ON. I'll have RAIN set to come on every fourth night, say. That will do nicely. I'm going to set WIND to OFF and stick it that way with an Elastoplast. I don't like wind.

I'll do the occasional request, if people ask me nicely: a bit of snow to look picturesque for Christmas, that kind of thing.

I'm going to have a temperature setting too, of course - - generally eighty-something in Fahrenheit for summer - you can see from the machine above that it's too old to think in Centigrade (like me). If I'm doing a bit of walking or gardening I'll turn it down a bit.

So, you'll be glad to hear that the British weather will be improving very shortly, at least in the Leeds area. Good news, eh?


Blogger Silverback said...

Sorry but you can't have it, Daffy.
It's for glasshouses and you know what ? Yep, you blew that with your Wendy house....I mean shed !!

4:19 pm  
Blogger Jennyta said...

I want one!!

6:57 pm  
Anonymous ruth said...

When you say you found it in the garden centre do you mean to say that they currently control our weather? B**tards! Mind you, I don't think it's working very well cos rain and wind weren't switched to off but it has been calm and sunny today. I think it's faulty. Make sure your one works or at least has a good guarantee.

7:58 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:49 am  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

Sorry to disappoint you Daphne but the weather is so volatile and unpredicatable that no electronic devices would ever be able to control it. If we could control the weather, I would send a hurricane to Leeds... just because I am a peevish guy.

12:50 am  

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