Wednesday, April 29, 2009


What's the greatest sin these days? Is it a) murder b) fornication c) embezzlement or d) turning up at a supermarket without your own carrier bags?

Well I think we all know the answer to that one.

"Have you brought your own bags?" asks Save-The-Planet Checkout Assistant.

There's just me, and my handbag, and I know it's quite capacious, but it really doesn't look like the kind of thing that you'd put carrier bags in.

"Yes, I've got seventeen of them stuffed down my bra. Just wait a moment and I'll get them all out," I didn't say.

I am the Queen of the Unspoken Smart-Arse Comment. And, I warn you now, if there is reincarnation and I do come back again, I'm going to say them all and hang the consequences.

"No, sorry, I just called in here on impulse, could I have some bags please?" I reply meekly.

She gives me one carrier bag. I fill it. Oliver Twist moment coming up.

"Please could I have some more?" She glares at me and silently hands me one bag.

I fill it. I have enough shopping to fill five bags.

"Please could I have some more?" Repeat glare, repeat one bag.

After four I can stand it no more and chuck the rest in the bottom of my trolley. The car park's up some steep steps and it takes me four trips to carry everything to the car.

But do I say anything? No, because I know I am in the WRONG. The future of the Brazilian rainforest is slipping through my thoughtless fingers. Mea Culpa. Peccavi.

Yes, there was a lot of Latin going on when I was at school. So I've always remembered that some old Victorian git conquered the province of Sindh in India and then sent a smart-arse telegram home which said just one word - - PECCAVI. Which is Latin for "I have sinned". Thrilling pun on "I have (conquered) Sindh". Oh hahahahaha. Frightfully witty lot, those Victorians. I bet he never took his own bags to the supermarket.


Blogger Jennyta said...

Ha! Sainsbury's, no doubt!

9:40 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

Actually, they didn't have supermarkets in Victorian times. I have no sympathy with you on this one Daphne. That excellent checkout assistant has planted the message firmly in your cranium .... Go Shopping = Take old bags and re-use! It isn't rocket science.

12:57 am  
Anonymous ruth said...

Harsh, Yorkshire Pudding, harsh, have you never gone into a supermarket to shop when you hadn't really planned to so been caught a little short on the bag front?

I always have a bag-for-life in whatever bag I carry and keep another in my car which I have to remember to put back after I have emptied the shopping out of it following one of those random errand trips. However, I think where the checkout assistant went wrong was not listening to you, Daphne. You asked for some bags (and then later some more). Plural. At no point did she ask 'How many would you like?' You could then have guessed how many, e.g. 6 and she could have loudly repeated the number with a disgusted, outraged questioning sneer in her voice 'YOU WANT 6?!?' - much more Oliver Twist like and more fun for her and everyone else around.

6:49 am  
Anonymous ruth said...

Perhaps I should offer my services to supermarkets, training check out staff in how to do this. It could be a nice sideline for the agency don't you think?

6:51 am  
Blogger Daphne said...

Jennyta - - actually it was SOMERFIELD, the one at OAKWOOD, LEEDS! I am not afraid (even though I was in the wrong).
YP - - you are a man of deep cruelty. Why they let you loose on our nation's youth I don't know. And of course they must have had supermarkets in Victorian times, if only to bulk-buy gruel.
Ruth - yes, you could run courses in Saving the Planet Whilst Maximising Embarrassment.

7:52 am  
Blogger J.J said...

Shop in Morrisons this week - they are giving away reusable bags at the moment - and they are very generous with them too.

9:04 pm  

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