It Was On The Monday Morning - -
Some time ago, last week, back in the mists of time, our hot water stopped being hot water and started being cold water. At the same time, the boiler started repeatedly going out and then relighting itself, making a banging noise every ten seconds or so.
Luckily for us, we have a contract with British Gas and, even more excitingly, because we have an office in the house and hence don't want to risk being left without heating, we have a Priority Clause on this contract, which we pay extra for.
So I rang them and they came the next day. If you ring them before 10am, under this priority thingy, they will come out the same day. If you ring them after 10am then it's the next day.
Gasman Number 1 came and tinkered with it a bit and spread out lots of bits of metal on the kitchen floor and said he'd mended it and left. I didn't believe a word of it and, sure enough, soon after he'd gone, there was the familiar banging noise again.
So I rang British Gas Homecare again and they tried to flog me some emergency cover for the outside of the house. I said I was not currently interested in listening and would really like them to mend the boiler.
Gasman Number 2 turned up and said he'd mended it and off he went and - - bang, bang, bang - - hot water intermittently, heating intermittently too.
Gasman Number 3 turned up and said he'd mended it and off he went - - but luckily, this was on Saturday morning so when it immediately started banging again we were able to get him back the same day, to fail to mend it again.
He went off muttering something about "parts" and said he'd come back on Monday for an exciting fifth visit by British Gas.
He came back on Monday, which was yesterday, and got it working and all went well until this evening when I got back from working at the university to find we now have no hot water and no central heating.
So I rang Homecare and suggested that, since they had failed to mend it no less than five times, perhaps they could send someone tonight? Oh no, no chance, all the gasmen have gone home after a fulfilling day failing to mend people's boilers.
So, just for my own enjoyment really, I tried all those things that call centre people just hate, such as "And how would you feel if this happened to you?" Nothing in their training prepares them for such questions and they just go all silent on you.
But British Gas are booked in for Visit Number 6 tomorrow. I'm wondering whether I should just ring before 10am and book Visit Number 7 for the next day, secure in the knowledge that they won't be able to mend it.
I suspect they've got a way to go yet. Once, in our other house, they were installing central heating. We hadn't yet moved in. They left the house on a Friday night leaving water in the pipes and all the joints unsoldered. It took them twenty-three - - yes, that's TWENTY-THREE - visits to get the system working. At one point they were talking to Stephen on the phone telling him that it was all now sorted out and he heard a strange noise - - it was the ceiling in the next room falling down because it was so wet.
But hey, that was over twenty years ago and I expect they've really improved. Did you detect just a teensy hint of British sarcasm there?
Clearly all this kind of thing has been going on since the 1960s, as Flanders and Swann can testify. Still, at least we got a song out of it. Enjoy!
Luckily for us, we have a contract with British Gas and, even more excitingly, because we have an office in the house and hence don't want to risk being left without heating, we have a Priority Clause on this contract, which we pay extra for.
So I rang them and they came the next day. If you ring them before 10am, under this priority thingy, they will come out the same day. If you ring them after 10am then it's the next day.
Gasman Number 1 came and tinkered with it a bit and spread out lots of bits of metal on the kitchen floor and said he'd mended it and left. I didn't believe a word of it and, sure enough, soon after he'd gone, there was the familiar banging noise again.
So I rang British Gas Homecare again and they tried to flog me some emergency cover for the outside of the house. I said I was not currently interested in listening and would really like them to mend the boiler.
Gasman Number 2 turned up and said he'd mended it and off he went and - - bang, bang, bang - - hot water intermittently, heating intermittently too.
Gasman Number 3 turned up and said he'd mended it and off he went - - but luckily, this was on Saturday morning so when it immediately started banging again we were able to get him back the same day, to fail to mend it again.
He went off muttering something about "parts" and said he'd come back on Monday for an exciting fifth visit by British Gas.
He came back on Monday, which was yesterday, and got it working and all went well until this evening when I got back from working at the university to find we now have no hot water and no central heating.
So I rang Homecare and suggested that, since they had failed to mend it no less than five times, perhaps they could send someone tonight? Oh no, no chance, all the gasmen have gone home after a fulfilling day failing to mend people's boilers.
So, just for my own enjoyment really, I tried all those things that call centre people just hate, such as "And how would you feel if this happened to you?" Nothing in their training prepares them for such questions and they just go all silent on you.
But British Gas are booked in for Visit Number 6 tomorrow. I'm wondering whether I should just ring before 10am and book Visit Number 7 for the next day, secure in the knowledge that they won't be able to mend it.
I suspect they've got a way to go yet. Once, in our other house, they were installing central heating. We hadn't yet moved in. They left the house on a Friday night leaving water in the pipes and all the joints unsoldered. It took them twenty-three - - yes, that's TWENTY-THREE - visits to get the system working. At one point they were talking to Stephen on the phone telling him that it was all now sorted out and he heard a strange noise - - it was the ceiling in the next room falling down because it was so wet.
But hey, that was over twenty years ago and I expect they've really improved. Did you detect just a teensy hint of British sarcasm there?
Clearly all this kind of thing has been going on since the 1960s, as Flanders and Swann can testify. Still, at least we got a song out of it. Enjoy!
posted by Daphne at 6:37 pm
3 Comments:
Do you think your boiler has contracted whatever is wrong with G & O's boiler - the symptoms do seem familiar!
If I were you I really would put in a complaint, and tell them that they have several Gas Men who need to be fired immediately
I hope it gets sorted soon, and yeah ring up and book in for Gas Man Number seven, and when they ask why just say well they did not fix it the first 5 times so I have no confidence in them fixing it this time
XxX
The strange thing is this sort of thing has become almost normal and accepted. Never mind, eh. (Who said that or something similar.)
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