Therapped
I was at a Complementary Therapy Centre last week whilst Emily was seeing an osteopath for her ongoing painful back problems. The pain's caused by being too long and slim, I mention with only a tiny hint of blind envy.
I've always been deeply suspicious of all kinds of alternative and complementary therapies. Probably partly because the Communist was also the Pharmacist, and has only ever believed in conventional medicine, and succeeded in indoctrinating me with this belief.
And partly, also, because I've never had any personal experience of using these therapies, or hence of having any success with them.
This is, I think, because I've always enjoyed relatively good health and, on the couple of occasions when I have been ill, it's been with something really serious and for some reason nobody thought to try complementary remedies.
"It's a pulmonary embolism! Pass the aromatherapy!"
"The baby's breech! Quick, fetch the Indian Head Massage!"
Oh, it's easy to mock. The centre offers counselling too, and hence this notice amused me:
It's all very calm and pleasant - so unnervingly calm, in fact, that I wanted to play a bit of Death Metal and make a few calls on my mobile.
There are lots of important-looking certificates on the wall - but my problem with all of this is that I don't know what, say, a certificate in Reiki means. What do you have to study to get it? What do you have to achieve? Just reading their website sets my Bullshit Monitor on red alert and makes my mind, which I like to think I keep pretty open, snap firmly shut.
Reiki seems to consist of the therapist putting their hands on the patient's body in different positions for an hour and a half. If it works, then, fine - - but I want to know how it works, and my guess it it's because the patient believes it's going to. So that's me stuffed, then, because I'm just not good at believing in things.
If someone's qualified as a doctor, then, fine - they've studied for five years at a recognised medical school. It's just pass or fail and the reason for this is that nobody wants to see a doctor with a Third when they could see a doctor with a First.
But with many of these complementary therapies, we have no clue what they've had to do to gain their posh certificates.
I'm aware that it's partly my failing: the instructions on the Reiki site say "The recipient simply lies on the couch and relaxes".
Whaddya mean SIMPLY? I couldn't do that, not in a million years. I'd lie on the couch, every muscle tensed, waiting for it to be over. The same goes for massage, as I think I've told you before. With me it'd be that's enough now, get OFF, leave me ALONE.
Homoeopathy? No, my mind won't buy into that one, either. Let's get an ingredient, dilute it until it's not there, and then use it as a treatment. It just doesn't make sense to me. And, as with Reiki, I am convinced it works because of the placebo effect - it works because you think it will.
But I could be wrong! And I'd like to be wrong. I'd like to believe, but I just don't seem able to.
I've always been deeply suspicious of all kinds of alternative and complementary therapies. Probably partly because the Communist was also the Pharmacist, and has only ever believed in conventional medicine, and succeeded in indoctrinating me with this belief.
And partly, also, because I've never had any personal experience of using these therapies, or hence of having any success with them.
This is, I think, because I've always enjoyed relatively good health and, on the couple of occasions when I have been ill, it's been with something really serious and for some reason nobody thought to try complementary remedies.
"It's a pulmonary embolism! Pass the aromatherapy!"
"The baby's breech! Quick, fetch the Indian Head Massage!"
Oh, it's easy to mock. The centre offers counselling too, and hence this notice amused me:
It's all very calm and pleasant - so unnervingly calm, in fact, that I wanted to play a bit of Death Metal and make a few calls on my mobile.There are lots of important-looking certificates on the wall - but my problem with all of this is that I don't know what, say, a certificate in Reiki means. What do you have to study to get it? What do you have to achieve? Just reading their website sets my Bullshit Monitor on red alert and makes my mind, which I like to think I keep pretty open, snap firmly shut.
Reiki seems to consist of the therapist putting their hands on the patient's body in different positions for an hour and a half. If it works, then, fine - - but I want to know how it works, and my guess it it's because the patient believes it's going to. So that's me stuffed, then, because I'm just not good at believing in things.
If someone's qualified as a doctor, then, fine - they've studied for five years at a recognised medical school. It's just pass or fail and the reason for this is that nobody wants to see a doctor with a Third when they could see a doctor with a First.
But with many of these complementary therapies, we have no clue what they've had to do to gain their posh certificates.
I'm aware that it's partly my failing: the instructions on the Reiki site say "The recipient simply lies on the couch and relaxes".
Whaddya mean SIMPLY? I couldn't do that, not in a million years. I'd lie on the couch, every muscle tensed, waiting for it to be over. The same goes for massage, as I think I've told you before. With me it'd be that's enough now, get OFF, leave me ALONE.
Homoeopathy? No, my mind won't buy into that one, either. Let's get an ingredient, dilute it until it's not there, and then use it as a treatment. It just doesn't make sense to me. And, as with Reiki, I am convinced it works because of the placebo effect - it works because you think it will.
But I could be wrong! And I'd like to be wrong. I'd like to believe, but I just don't seem able to.
posted by Daphne at 5:39 pm
2 Comments:
I saw a good notice today and thought of you. Actually it was on my dad's bedside PatientLine TV screen:
"We are sorry TCM is available from 9pm daily.
This is due to circumstances beyond our control."
Now I'm not a huge fan of TCM (Turner Classic Movies) but I do think it's a bit rude to be apologising for it's availability. Watching old movies can be very therapeutic.
But personally, unlike you, I'd rather have the massage and indeed do, once a month.
well I think you're wrong, my homeopath has done more for me than any major antidepressent or psychiatrist, but then maybe all i needed was a placebo..
and Reiki? If you get good enough just to confuddle you more, it's not actually hands on, it's a massage WITHOUT touching the body, hands about four inches away and healing. I've seen it being done, very impressive. I say give it a go, but get someone very very good, of course there are an awful lot of trickcyclists out there so only go to someone highly recommended. I believe in holistic, there are times modern conventional medicine hits a wall and times when alternative just won't hack it either.. I work with a little of everything and it works for me.
x
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