Vuzzy Tweels
The phone rang. Thinking about the letter I was writing, I answered it.
"Omfra Vuzzy Tweels."
No information. I hadn't a clue what she was saying.
"Pardon?"
"Vuzzy Tweels. Yafulledinaforrum. Omfra Vuzzy Tweels."
I thought of saying "I can't understand you. Goodbye," but I was intrigued.
"It's a very bad line," I said, pathetically and untruthfully. "Could you say it again, a bit more clearly?"
"Vuzzy Tweels. Forrum. Ya fulledinaforrum."
Ah - - Light dawns! "I filled in a form?"
"Yus. For Vuzzy Tweels."
"Pardon?"
"Vuzzy Tweels."
There's a limit to the number of times you can ask someone to repeat Vuzzy Tweels, and they can repeat it in exactly the same way, and you can continue to fail to understand, before it all gets very embarrassing and you have to hang up and then hide under the table for the rest of the day. So I decided on some further questioning.
"Sorry, it's really hard to hear. What does the organisation do?"
"Utsa wubseet fu Weels."
Ah. Finally. VISIT WALES. A Welsh tourist organisation. I had filled in a form saying I was happy to answer a telephone survey. But the Scots had clearly decided to sabotage Welsh tourism by getting a woman with the most impenetrable Scottish accent I have ever heard to do the ringing round.
Now don't get me wrong: I love Scotland. Edinburgh is one of the best cities ever. Scenery is wonderful. Whisky's great. People friendly. I even like haggis and bagpipes. Most Scottish accents I have no problem with. But this woman not only had the thickest accent ever, she had no idea that she had any accent at all, so she had no idea that wording something in a slightly different way might be helpful. We completed her five-minute survey a mere half-hour later and she thinks I'm stone deaf: and I'm still bright red and I'm typing this from under the table.
I think it's all part of a subdivision of Murphy's Law.
a) There are very few people in the country who like to be in bed and asleep by nine o'clock, but the ones who do all run bed and breakfasts. "We like all our guest to arrive by eight o'clock at the latest and we simply never answer the door after half past".
b) There are very few people in the country with incredibly strong accents, but the ones who do have them all work for call centres.
"Omfra Vuzzy Tweels."
No information. I hadn't a clue what she was saying.
"Pardon?"
"Vuzzy Tweels. Yafulledinaforrum. Omfra Vuzzy Tweels."
I thought of saying "I can't understand you. Goodbye," but I was intrigued.
"It's a very bad line," I said, pathetically and untruthfully. "Could you say it again, a bit more clearly?"
"Vuzzy Tweels. Forrum. Ya fulledinaforrum."
Ah - - Light dawns! "I filled in a form?"
"Yus. For Vuzzy Tweels."
"Pardon?"
"Vuzzy Tweels."
There's a limit to the number of times you can ask someone to repeat Vuzzy Tweels, and they can repeat it in exactly the same way, and you can continue to fail to understand, before it all gets very embarrassing and you have to hang up and then hide under the table for the rest of the day. So I decided on some further questioning.
"Sorry, it's really hard to hear. What does the organisation do?"
"Utsa wubseet fu Weels."
Ah. Finally. VISIT WALES. A Welsh tourist organisation. I had filled in a form saying I was happy to answer a telephone survey. But the Scots had clearly decided to sabotage Welsh tourism by getting a woman with the most impenetrable Scottish accent I have ever heard to do the ringing round.
Now don't get me wrong: I love Scotland. Edinburgh is one of the best cities ever. Scenery is wonderful. Whisky's great. People friendly. I even like haggis and bagpipes. Most Scottish accents I have no problem with. But this woman not only had the thickest accent ever, she had no idea that she had any accent at all, so she had no idea that wording something in a slightly different way might be helpful. We completed her five-minute survey a mere half-hour later and she thinks I'm stone deaf: and I'm still bright red and I'm typing this from under the table.
I think it's all part of a subdivision of Murphy's Law.
a) There are very few people in the country who like to be in bed and asleep by nine o'clock, but the ones who do all run bed and breakfasts. "We like all our guest to arrive by eight o'clock at the latest and we simply never answer the door after half past".
b) There are very few people in the country with incredibly strong accents, but the ones who do have them all work for call centres.
posted by Daphne at 4:06 pm
3 Comments:
Yes, I've had dealings with similar people from north of the boarder. I suppose it would be too easy to get a Welsh person to conduct the interview!
hi hi, too funny.
i like posts that make me chuckle out loud, cheers!
Ah, you'd never get a Welsh person to conduct the interviews.
We all either refuse to use 'They New Fangled Things', are too busy exploiting - sorry, entertaining - our visitors, or we don't want the English here in the first place!
(just joking, Emily, just joking)
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