Non-Comedogenic
Not only is our bottle of Pears' Handwashing Liquid hypoallergenic, pointed out Ruth today, having read the label, but it is also non-comedogenic.
This, we deduced, means that it is guaranteed not to generate jokes when you press the dispenser on the top.
If you buy top-quality comedogenic handwash, clearly, you can expect good jokes. Clearly, if you pay over the odds and buy comedogenic handwash from one of the Luxury Skin Care ranges, all you have to do is press the squirty thing and out comes, say, my current favourite about the two aliens from Pluto who come down to Earth and say, "We're from Pluto and it IS a planet, SO THERE, and we're going to rename YOUR planet and we're calling it BLEURGH".
Press again and you might get that joke I like about the seven dwarves who go to see the Pope and ask His Holiness if there are any dwarf nuns. The Pope says there aren't, and all the dwarves then point and laugh at Dopey, saying "Ha Ha! Dopey fucked a penguin!"
If, however, you choose to buy Value brands of comedogenic handwash from the cheaper supermarkets, beware! Only press the top and you will be deluged with poor-quality, sometimes offensive material about mothers-in-law, the Irish and immigrants.
But those who like a quiet life or who lack a sense of humour should go for Pears. It comes in a bottle pleasingly shaped like a bar of Pears soap, and you can press the top as hard and as frequently as you like, secure in the knowledge that it is completely joke-free. Thanks to Ruth for enabling me to share this important discovery with the world.
This, we deduced, means that it is guaranteed not to generate jokes when you press the dispenser on the top.
If you buy top-quality comedogenic handwash, clearly, you can expect good jokes. Clearly, if you pay over the odds and buy comedogenic handwash from one of the Luxury Skin Care ranges, all you have to do is press the squirty thing and out comes, say, my current favourite about the two aliens from Pluto who come down to Earth and say, "We're from Pluto and it IS a planet, SO THERE, and we're going to rename YOUR planet and we're calling it BLEURGH".
Press again and you might get that joke I like about the seven dwarves who go to see the Pope and ask His Holiness if there are any dwarf nuns. The Pope says there aren't, and all the dwarves then point and laugh at Dopey, saying "Ha Ha! Dopey fucked a penguin!"
If, however, you choose to buy Value brands of comedogenic handwash from the cheaper supermarkets, beware! Only press the top and you will be deluged with poor-quality, sometimes offensive material about mothers-in-law, the Irish and immigrants.
But those who like a quiet life or who lack a sense of humour should go for Pears. It comes in a bottle pleasingly shaped like a bar of Pears soap, and you can press the top as hard and as frequently as you like, secure in the knowledge that it is completely joke-free. Thanks to Ruth for enabling me to share this important discovery with the world.
posted by Daphne at 9:04 pm
2 Comments:
I thought that perhaps if something was comedogenic it would actually turn you into a comedian. So I was quite disappointed to be using soap that was non-comedogenic as I wouldn't mind being funnier. Although most real life professional comedians I have had contact with are not that nice (drug using, heavy drinking, disturbing sexual practices). However my disappointment was unnecessary. Apparently comedogenic is far more prosaic - it simply means tending to produce or aggravate acne. What a let down.
Too funny, that was an enjoyable read..
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