Fishy

When I was a child I wanted to be a zoo-keeper when I grew up (and actually, I still do). My favourite television programme was Animal Magic, where the presenter Johnny Morris had a weekly slot as a zoo-keeper at Bristol Zoo. Another favourite was Look, presented by Peter Scott. To me, Peter Scott was King and David Attenborough was a young up-and-coming whippersnapper and there’s still something in my head that thinks “Ah, David Attenborough, that new chap, he’s very good, isn’t he?”

I read all Gerald Durrell’s well-written and very entertaining books about his expeditions to collect animals, and followed with tremendous interest the growth of Jersey Zoo, which he founded. I was a member of Jersey Wildlife Preservation Trust. I was a member of the Panda Club, which was the junior branch of the World Wildlife Fund. I went to hear Peter Scott give a fascinating talk about his work.

I filled the house with animals. And the garden. And the garage. I liked all animals, even the creepy crawlies with lots of legs which nobody else liked. If my friend up the road found a daddy-long-legs the first thing she did was scream and the second thing she did was to ring me to come and take it away.

Our current rather small menagerie consists of a cat, a corn snake and a leopard gecko – that’s if you don’t count the crickets which are there as gecko food and are lovingly fed by me on bits of apple right until the moment when they are lovingly fed to the gecko.

I find all animals interesting: vertebrates and invertebrates, furry and smooth, cuddly and slithery. I am happy with spiders, big or small and with any other creatures with lots of legs. I love moths, though both my father and my daughter can’t bear the way they flutter about. I will happily hold any snake, as long as it’s not poisonous. I’ll go in the sea if there are jellyfish about and just try to dodge them.

But there is one thing that I really, really don’t like and it makes me shudder just to think about it. Here’s a picture of the scary creature: (this one lives at Silent World aquarium in Tenby)


Yes, it’s a plaice. I do like them on a plate with chips and I’m very happy for them to swim about in the sea minding their own business. I think they’re really very pretty with all those spots and I think it’s very interesting the way they start off round and then turn gradually so they end up flat and lying on one side.

But what I don’t like about them is that they lurk invisibly in the sand, in the shallows, waiting for me to come in for a swim. Then I wade into the sea and TREAD ON THEM. EEEEEEEEEEERGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

So, if you want any spiders, snakes, frogs or other small creatures removing, I’m your woman. But if you have any fish you want trodden on, you’re just going to have to get someone else.