Explaining to David Attenborough about Gorillas
I've seen it happen to other people and I've maybe even done it myself: though oh, I so hope not.
The best way to explain it is to give an example. It's when you see someone telling David Attenborough how to make a natural history programme and they don't know he's David Attenborough or even who David Attenborough is.
My question is: what should David Attenborough do in those circumstances?
Should he say:
a) Actually, my name is David Attenborough and you may not have heard of me but I am probably Britain's foremost natural history programme maker, so I think I probably know everything you're telling me
OR:
b) That's really interesting and I will bear all your handy tips in mind
OR:
c) Look, you ignorant fool, if you don't know who I am you shouldn't be expressing any sort of opinion about natural history, so clear off now and never come near me again
From what I know of the Attenborough family and their general politeness (look, she name-dropped, I did used to know Richard's son Michael and he was lovely) I guess David would tend somewhat towards b.
But, in a very, very minor way, something along these lines sometimes happens to me and I never know what to do.
When I was working as an office temp years ago I had just done a degree in English. Although I had not hidden this fact when I applied to the temping agency, they had not told my employers.
My boss in the office was a forceful woman in her forties who was in the process of doing what was then O-level English. Thinking to impress the office temp, she insisted on bringing in every essay she wrote to thrill me with.
They were terrible. So was her spelling. So was her grammar. But she didn’t want my opinion, or my help – she just wanted me to go “Wow, that’s really interesting.” So I did, and felt a totally hypocrite and hoped she would never find out about my degree (and she didn’t, hurrah). Should I have told her and offered to help? I still don’t know.
More recently, someone I encounter on a fairly regular basis keeps telling me her daughter is going to do English Literature for GCSE. She once asked me what I did before I did my present job and I told her I was an English teacher. But she is one of those people who only ever half-listens to anything and she has forgotten I was ever an English teacher and now every time I see her she explains what English Literature is, and according to her it’s a special kind of English which only a few people speak, and her daughter is going to study it.
I just keep quiet and hope that she never, ever remembers that I was an English teacher and I keep saying “Oh, how lovely” and wanting the ground to open up.
But is this fair? Is it the best thing to do? I don’t know, and I feel embarrassed even thinking about it.
The best way to explain it is to give an example. It's when you see someone telling David Attenborough how to make a natural history programme and they don't know he's David Attenborough or even who David Attenborough is.
My question is: what should David Attenborough do in those circumstances?
Should he say:
a) Actually, my name is David Attenborough and you may not have heard of me but I am probably Britain's foremost natural history programme maker, so I think I probably know everything you're telling me
OR:
b) That's really interesting and I will bear all your handy tips in mind
OR:
c) Look, you ignorant fool, if you don't know who I am you shouldn't be expressing any sort of opinion about natural history, so clear off now and never come near me again
From what I know of the Attenborough family and their general politeness (look, she name-dropped, I did used to know Richard's son Michael and he was lovely) I guess David would tend somewhat towards b.
But, in a very, very minor way, something along these lines sometimes happens to me and I never know what to do.
When I was working as an office temp years ago I had just done a degree in English. Although I had not hidden this fact when I applied to the temping agency, they had not told my employers.
My boss in the office was a forceful woman in her forties who was in the process of doing what was then O-level English. Thinking to impress the office temp, she insisted on bringing in every essay she wrote to thrill me with.
They were terrible. So was her spelling. So was her grammar. But she didn’t want my opinion, or my help – she just wanted me to go “Wow, that’s really interesting.” So I did, and felt a totally hypocrite and hoped she would never find out about my degree (and she didn’t, hurrah). Should I have told her and offered to help? I still don’t know.
More recently, someone I encounter on a fairly regular basis keeps telling me her daughter is going to do English Literature for GCSE. She once asked me what I did before I did my present job and I told her I was an English teacher. But she is one of those people who only ever half-listens to anything and she has forgotten I was ever an English teacher and now every time I see her she explains what English Literature is, and according to her it’s a special kind of English which only a few people speak, and her daughter is going to study it.
I just keep quiet and hope that she never, ever remembers that I was an English teacher and I keep saying “Oh, how lovely” and wanting the ground to open up.
But is this fair? Is it the best thing to do? I don’t know, and I feel embarrassed even thinking about it.
posted by Daphne at 5:54 pm
4 Comments:
However... being near that particular person for any length of time causes this inexplicable urge to hang, draw and quarter her before feeding her body to nasty sea monsters, while all the time screaming "Associating with you has caused my already worrying IQ score to drop into minus numbers; it has also caused a bizarre obsession with nail extensions and a decision that Pride and Prejudice is by William Shakespeare, you PARAGON OF UNPLEASANTNESS, ARROGANCE BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY IDIOCY! YOUR RESPIRATION HAS BEEN WASTING VALUABLE TREES!!!".
Are these feelings only mine? Mum? Gareth? Anyone...
I'm supposed to know everything there is to know about Russia between 1860 and 1930 for my A levels, so the Communist often bestows his version of events upon me, causing me to alternately wince and suppress giggles; they are either factually suspect "Kerensky was a fascist!" or rather oppressive "Lenin was a good thing and don't let them tell you otherwise!"
The exam went terribly, though, so perhaps he's right... I don't know any more...
Nod, smile, back away. I've had trouble as a high-school dropout with the job of proofreading in-house documents... "I *know* possessive its has an apostrophe," quoth he, "because I have a degree in English from OXFORD!"
Aaaargh, Ailbhe - I think Nod, Smile, Back Away is very sound advice but in THOSE circumstances I might go for Nod, Smile, Back Away, Fetch Gun (and I'm very much a pacifist, honest)
The following day I brought in a mini OED for his reading pleasure.
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