Remote
“Remote” means different things to different people. To some people it means a mountain that has never been climbed: to others it means a pub five miles outside Manchester. To some it means a cave system that has never been explored: to others is means a beach without a pier. To some it means a six-week expedition up the Amazon. To others – and I have to say that one of them is me – it means over a cattle grid in the Lake District.
For if you go over a cattle grid you are leaving the so-called civilised world and entering a world of fells, bracken, rocks and gorse, a world where there are more sheep than people. The sheep gaze at you in puzzlement and it takes a while to work out that they look at everything that way.
They have three settings, sheep – eating mode, puzzled mode and fear mode. Oh yes, and Super-Puzzled mode, which I have only seen once. In the Sixties we had a white toy poodle – not an actual toy, you understand, but of the breed known as toy. Forgive us, because it was the 1960s and that was the kind of dog that people had.
Anyway, in a previous over-a-cattle-grid moment, this dog – and this may be a good moment to slip in guiltily that the dog was called Fluffy, because he was named by me, and I was only seven, and anyway nobody stopped me - encountered some sheep. Please don’t go all don’t-let-your-dog-near-sheep on me, because he was only about six inches high or something and extremely good-natured and white and, well, fluffy.
The sheep looked puzzled. An extra lamb, they thought, where did that come from?
Fluffy moved nearer, intrigued. Yes, thought the sheep, a lamb, we’d better move in protectively, even though we’re a bit puzzled.
Fluffy sniffed them with interest. They sniffed Fluffy. It took them a few seconds to react. This, they thought, looks like a lamb. AND SMELLS LIKE A DOG.
We left them, stock-still, in Super-Puzzled mode. I think their brains suffered meltdown and I don’t know if they ever got over it.
Now, I tell you with pride, this place where we are staying is remote. It’s not just over a cattle grid. It’s over TWO CATTLE GRIDS and along a long, winding country lane that is longer than the borders of some countries. It has views of hills and woodland in all directions, with a bit of Duddon estuary off in the distance.
It is wonderful. I hope to bring you more bulletins from this far-flung corner of the Furness peninsula very soon.
For if you go over a cattle grid you are leaving the so-called civilised world and entering a world of fells, bracken, rocks and gorse, a world where there are more sheep than people. The sheep gaze at you in puzzlement and it takes a while to work out that they look at everything that way.
They have three settings, sheep – eating mode, puzzled mode and fear mode. Oh yes, and Super-Puzzled mode, which I have only seen once. In the Sixties we had a white toy poodle – not an actual toy, you understand, but of the breed known as toy. Forgive us, because it was the 1960s and that was the kind of dog that people had.
Anyway, in a previous over-a-cattle-grid moment, this dog – and this may be a good moment to slip in guiltily that the dog was called Fluffy, because he was named by me, and I was only seven, and anyway nobody stopped me - encountered some sheep. Please don’t go all don’t-let-your-dog-near-sheep on me, because he was only about six inches high or something and extremely good-natured and white and, well, fluffy.
The sheep looked puzzled. An extra lamb, they thought, where did that come from?
Fluffy moved nearer, intrigued. Yes, thought the sheep, a lamb, we’d better move in protectively, even though we’re a bit puzzled.
Fluffy sniffed them with interest. They sniffed Fluffy. It took them a few seconds to react. This, they thought, looks like a lamb. AND SMELLS LIKE A DOG.
We left them, stock-still, in Super-Puzzled mode. I think their brains suffered meltdown and I don’t know if they ever got over it.
Now, I tell you with pride, this place where we are staying is remote. It’s not just over a cattle grid. It’s over TWO CATTLE GRIDS and along a long, winding country lane that is longer than the borders of some countries. It has views of hills and woodland in all directions, with a bit of Duddon estuary off in the distance.
It is wonderful. I hope to bring you more bulletins from this far-flung corner of the Furness peninsula very soon.
posted by Daphne at 11:08 am
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