A Fish Called Daphne
Back in February, you will remember, there was a terrible earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand.
The fleeing inhabitants left behind a tank of goldfish in one building, a chartered accountant's.
A hundred and thirty-four days later, people returned to the building and found two of the fish still alive. Apparently they had been named after characters in Scooby-Doo. One was called Shaggy and one, far more interestingly, was called Daphne.
The story, whilst claiming that these two fish had survived all that time without food, slightly skirts round the fact that there were originally six fish in the tank. I don't know what the others were called. I think Bob is usually a good name for goldfish, since it's the only word they appear to know.
I've heard that goldfish only have a memory of two seconds so I expect that these two, after the earthquake, spent a couple of seconds thinking "What the - - ??" and then got back to thinking the thoughts that they normally think, which I have always feared might just be "Now what was I - - ? Now what was I - - ? Now what was I - - ?"
Anyway, that's it. Six fish for starters. Two left.
"Don't mess with Daphne," I think is the message here.
The fleeing inhabitants left behind a tank of goldfish in one building, a chartered accountant's.
A hundred and thirty-four days later, people returned to the building and found two of the fish still alive. Apparently they had been named after characters in Scooby-Doo. One was called Shaggy and one, far more interestingly, was called Daphne.
The story, whilst claiming that these two fish had survived all that time without food, slightly skirts round the fact that there were originally six fish in the tank. I don't know what the others were called. I think Bob is usually a good name for goldfish, since it's the only word they appear to know.
I've heard that goldfish only have a memory of two seconds so I expect that these two, after the earthquake, spent a couple of seconds thinking "What the - - ??" and then got back to thinking the thoughts that they normally think, which I have always feared might just be "Now what was I - - ? Now what was I - - ? Now what was I - - ?"
Anyway, that's it. Six fish for starters. Two left.
"Don't mess with Daphne," I think is the message here.
posted by Daphne at 3:10 pm
6 Comments:
I think we who claim to know you have figured that out ourselves.
As for the story, are they sure there wasn't a lip smacking cat hiding somewhere in that room too ?
I do wish goldfish everywhere had learned a different name though. Alexander would be more aesthetically pleasing although they might never get to the end of it !
Our goldfish are all called Maurice, and always have been. They all answer to it ... or not, as the case may be! Anyway, that way they only have to remember one name. Cunning, no?
So, did they find the bodies? Or are the remaining two goldfish considerably fatter now?
Following an incident just a couple of weeks ago, where my friend's joy at some new arrivals in the tank turned quickly to a violent fishy horror story, I can confirm that goldfish are surprisingly casual about cannabalism.
You can survive a long time without food, but how come they hadn't drunk all the water?
As one fish was called Daphne and the other Shaggy, it is clear that Shaggy should be Stephen's new nickname. White plastic adhesive letters can be bought at Halfords to go on your car windscreen - DAPHNE and SHAGGY. An Amy Winehouse-style tattoo for your arm would also be nice. SHAGGY in a heart.
To answer Jay, Not fatter: Alive.
In times of trouble Daphnes do what they gotta do.
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