Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Never in July

Here's my Fast Porridge recipe:

Bung half a mug of oats in a bowl with a whole mug of milk and a gloop of water. Put in microwave for two minutes forty-five seconds. Don't bother stirring it or doing anything with it - the waiting time is just long enough to feed the cat.

It comes out very hot: then I add frozen raspberries which cool it down, taste good too and are one of my five a day. Hurrah!

Here's how it looked before I stirred the raspberries in:

On an apparently unrelated topic - but I'll draw them together in a moment so please bear with me - here's the Communist's old Canada Life policy: it was Manulife in those days and it has "Now Canada Life" written on it, in his writing:

Having finally got the Grant of Probate, I spent the morning following what I hope is the recipe to get what the Communist always referred to as The Money I Get When I'm Dead.

Well, he's been dead since December and I'm hoping to get the money for my mother now, at long last. So I put the Grant of Probate in an envelope with the claim form and a Death Certificate which says Primary causes: Pneumonia. Stroke. Secondary causes: Type 2 diabetes. Cardiovascular disease. Epilepsy. It took a lot to kill him as, having no religious beliefs, he was determined to stay alive for as long as possible.

As well as the claim form and the Death Certificate and the Sealed Grant of Probate (which is an official-looking piece of paper stamped with a seal to say he's dead and the will has been proved), I had to send back the original insurance policy.

So what's that about then? Why do they need the original policy eh? THEY sent it to HIM. Surely it wouldn't have been too much trouble, back in 1977 when he started it, for someone to make a little note with a quill pen in a ledger somewhere to say that the Communist had started a policy for The Money I Get When I'm Dead?

And it's JULY, for goodness' sake. High summer. July should be a time of long grass and lazy rivers and sunshine and country walks and paddling pools out on the lawn and birdsong and berries and sand in your suncream.

Nobody should be eating porridge in July. Nobody should be having to do paperwork in July, especially not the distressing sort that shouts YOUR FATHER'S DEAD at you with every moment you spend on it.

And today, I've been doing both, whilst looking out at the rain. If this is summer, I think I want a refund.

6 Comments:

Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

Sending the original document is just one of the devices that insurance companies use to put off would-be claimants. I hope you have made your own copy of said document or you may find they later claim never to have received it. Proof of posting is also good. You just cannot trust any of those buggers.

6:56 pm  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

YP gave you good advice. I was thinking the same thing as I was reading your post.

Unfortunately, I do not know how to "bung" oats into a bowl or even what that means, and I certainly don't want to be spending money to purchase a new bunger. Nor do I know how much half a mug is or, for that matter, a gloop. It is therefore impossible for me to duplicate your recipe.

7:56 pm  
Anonymous ruth said...

I know what a gloop is, but gloop of water - isn't water too wet to have gloops?

My parents didn't have money they get when they're dead. Well, they didn't have life policies. Perhaps that's why we haven't got the money from their estates yet despite my mum dying in 2005 and my dad dying in February last year.

This summer is dismal so far isn't it?

9:42 pm  
Blogger Daphne said...

YP - yes, and I sent the blasted thing Registered Post and kept a record of it all, thank you sighhh.
Bob - yes, I agree, YP's advice is sound. As for the porridge, it doesn't matter what size container you make it in, as long as you use twice as much milk as oats, by volume, and a gloop of water (just TRY it - - you'll know when it's a gloop).
Ruth - the water in Leeds is particularly wet at the moment, and all over everything. It may still be measured in gloops though.

12:10 am  
Blogger Jennyta said...

I agree, Daphne. Every year, I seem to look forward to hot summer days and suddenly it's August and still not a sign of summer before we're back into autumn again. Reminds me of why we wanted to emigrate to France...

7:34 pm  
Blogger Debby said...

Porridge sounds divine! It's cold, and wet, and...oh my a lot like it is there!

I make mine with milk also. No gloop of water though. Frozen blueberries are nice too.

3:58 am  

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