Sunday, November 23, 2008

Getting In

"Do you have, or have you ever had, a father who is a member of the Communist Party? And do you by any chance write a blog with the word Communist in the title?"

No, the big bearded man at American Immigration didn't ask me that. But what he did ask me was "What is your job?"

The flight over to Orlando was fine - I had never been on such a big plane before, and liked the larger space. But there were many, many children on board, presumably heading for Disneyland. Fine for the older ones, perhaps, but I did wonder why many parents seemed to think it was a good idea to take a two-year-old on a nine-and-a-half hour flight. Two- year-olds like to run around a lot. And if they get tired they get very grizzly. And finally they yell a lot. Dozens of them. Lovely.

Anyway, back to Big Bearded Immigration Man.

I wasn't sure what to reply to his enquiry about my job, because sometimes when you say the words "Actors' agent" it frightens people and they think you spend all your time with hell-raising Oliver Reed types, which is really not the case. And since Bearded Man had the power to send me straight back to the UK, I didn't want to annoy him.

So I bought a bit of time by saying "Well, I have two jobs. I help to teach communication skills to medical students - - "

"In a university?"

"Exactly."

I could see that he liked this so I pressed home my advantage.

"And I have another job as an actors' agent."

"So what's that?"

"I try to get actors work."

Showbiz! I could tell he really, REALLY liked this. But for some reason he couldn't understand the difference between actors and singers.

"Elton John?" he asked.

"Well, no, he's a singer. I work with actors who work in theatre and television."

Good answer, Daphne, I ccould tell. And now he was really on a roll and wanted to show me his knowledge of British Famous People.

"Could you put all four fingers on this machine for fingerprints? How about Take That?"

"No, I don't know them but they're very famous."

"Okay, well how about Cliff Richard then? Both your thumbs please."

"Yes, I don't know him but he's really famous too."

"I'm taking your photo now. Tom Jones? He must be really old by now."

"Well he is quite old but he's still making records. His son looks old too now."

"Still making records? That's amazing! He's been around for years, hasn't he? Thank you very much, I'm all done now."

Of all the possible conversations I had thought I might have with American Immigration, I wasn't expecting to have this one.

"Welcome to America."

And there we were, in Florida. We collected our hire car - a stylish but rather impractical red Ford Mustang - and then drove off into the night to our happy rendezvous with Silverback and his friends.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on your 1,000th post! What an interesting story from immigration! In the pre 9/11 days it was very relaxed going in and out (I was a student in the US in 1995-6).

Have a fantastic time and take lots of pictures!

6:15 pm  
Blogger Jennytc said...

Have a great holiday, Daphne!

7:44 pm  
Blogger Ailbhe said...

Have a great time. And the 2-year-old thing is because the day before a child turns two, they can travel on an adult lap for less than a tenth of the adult fare and correspondingly lower taxes, and the very day they turn two, most airlines charge all or most of an adult fare as the two-year-old now requires their very own seat.

9:25 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I quite like the sound of big bearded man (but not of grizzly two year olds). Please, please sing 'Mustang Sally' at every opportunity whilst driving your gorgeous red car (well, even if you don't I will imagine you doing it).

11:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, you're there, you're there. Now I can go to bed. Well done, the pair of you. Love, D

12:00 am  
Blogger Daphne said...

Thank you all for your good wishes - yes, I'm having a fantastic time!

12:09 am  

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