Feelings

I just added the line about knowing how people feel as a kind of dramatic flourish at the end of my last post, without thinking too much about it. I've often been told that I seem to know how people feel, particularly if they're feeling any kind of distress, and I do think it's often true.

And then Dizzy kindly asked, in a comment, how I'm feeling.

Well, it's very hard to say. It's been a strange year. First of all The Communist was taken to hospital in June and it seemed for quite a while as though he might die. I felt a strange, shaky feeling all the time, right up until after he'd had his leg amputated in October and they took him off most of the drugs and he became much more like his old self, only with just one leg.

Now the shaky feeling about him has stopped: he's in the nursing home and I suppose I've adjusted to the fact that he won't come home again permanently, and things will never be the same as they were before June.

Then, on February 16th, Emily and Gareth got married in what was one of the most enjoyable, loveliest weddings in the whole world ever.

And then, a week and a day later, my cousin Robert died of cancer, and last Friday was his funeral.

So, how do I feel, in the middle of all this happiness and sadness?

I feel that my emotions - never far from the surface - are nearer the surface than usual. I feel grateful to all those who've been there for me and helped me through it all. I want to tell them all how great they are. I feel very tired - but that's because I've been working much too hard, so I'm going to try to cut down somewhat.

I feel a strong sense of how precious is life, and how we should make the most of it, and I feel that the line at the top of this blog "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think" is so very true.

So - although I enjoy all the work I do - I'm planning to have a bit more fun in future.