Oh No, it's Up to My Toe
In the days when I used to run Thrilling Activities for primary-school age children, one of the action songs that always went down well was this:
Oh I’m being eaten by a boa constrictor
A boa constrictor, a boa constrictor
Oh I’m being eaten by a boa constrictor
And I don’t like it one little bit.
Oh no, it’s up to my toe
Oh gee, it’s up to my knee
Oh my, it’s up to my thigh
Oh fiddle, it’s up to my middle
Oh heck, it’s up to my neck
Oh dread, it’s up to my - - (loud gulping noise)
Emily wants a summer job. Not to buy clothes or make-up or alcohol or other things that very-soon-to-be-eighteen-year-olds buy. No, she wants a boa constrictor to add to the three geckos, one corn snake and a cat (though the cat is, I reckon, mine).
If I were a proper type of mother I would be saying things like Oh No There’s No Way Forget It and By The Way You’re Not Going Out Looking Like That.
(nb I think she looks great, but I know that’s the sort of thing mothers are supposed to say).
The thing is, reared on the books of Gerald Durrell, I always wanted to keep such animals myself, but was not allowed to: and anyway, in those days, there just wasn’t the information available to keep them properly.
Boa constrictors tend to be large – the males are about six feet long (almost two metres, for those who prefer metric) but the females can be twice that . Our corn snake, Kelloggs, is about four feet six but much thinner than a boa constrictor. The females can take two people to lift them: so Emily wants a male.
However, unlike pythons, boas are placid, lazy snakes who just want to lie around all day thinking profound thoughts, and occasionally having a swim. They regard people as a pleasant form of warm tree, so like being handled, and, luckily, are not prone to trying to eat their owners.
There’s a place in Birmingham apparently that keeps abandoned boas in need of new homes – lots of people get large snakes as status symbols and then lose interest in them. One of these could be heading our way in the future, I can tell. But don’t worry, friends and neighbours, they are not poisonous and it will be in a large and very secure vivarium.
Oh I’m being eaten by a boa constrictor
A boa constrictor, a boa constrictor
Oh I’m being eaten by a boa constrictor
And I don’t like it one little bit.
Oh no, it’s up to my toe
Oh gee, it’s up to my knee
Oh my, it’s up to my thigh
Oh fiddle, it’s up to my middle
Oh heck, it’s up to my neck
Oh dread, it’s up to my - - (loud gulping noise)
Emily wants a summer job. Not to buy clothes or make-up or alcohol or other things that very-soon-to-be-eighteen-year-olds buy. No, she wants a boa constrictor to add to the three geckos, one corn snake and a cat (though the cat is, I reckon, mine).
If I were a proper type of mother I would be saying things like Oh No There’s No Way Forget It and By The Way You’re Not Going Out Looking Like That.
(nb I think she looks great, but I know that’s the sort of thing mothers are supposed to say).
The thing is, reared on the books of Gerald Durrell, I always wanted to keep such animals myself, but was not allowed to: and anyway, in those days, there just wasn’t the information available to keep them properly.
Boa constrictors tend to be large – the males are about six feet long (almost two metres, for those who prefer metric) but the females can be twice that . Our corn snake, Kelloggs, is about four feet six but much thinner than a boa constrictor. The females can take two people to lift them: so Emily wants a male.
However, unlike pythons, boas are placid, lazy snakes who just want to lie around all day thinking profound thoughts, and occasionally having a swim. They regard people as a pleasant form of warm tree, so like being handled, and, luckily, are not prone to trying to eat their owners.
There’s a place in Birmingham apparently that keeps abandoned boas in need of new homes – lots of people get large snakes as status symbols and then lose interest in them. One of these could be heading our way in the future, I can tell. But don’t worry, friends and neighbours, they are not poisonous and it will be in a large and very secure vivarium.
posted by Daphne at 10:54 pm
3 Comments:
Isn't that a Shel Silverstein poem? He wrote The Giving Tree too, one of my favorites... I was in the garden centre/pet store recently and they have a pretty expansive reptile/spider/creepy crawly section... I would say, having seen theGiant Millipede/Hissing Cockroach tank up close, that a boa is getting off lightly!!
After watching a show last night.......I want a hippo.
My elder son had a water snake for a while, which constantly escaped and was usually to be found under my younger daughter's bed. As she was the only one of the family to be scared of it, she was somewhat less than impressed!
Post a Comment
<< Home