How to Launch a Lifeboat

I like instructions, especially rather obscure ones, and here are some from the Norman Spirit, which sails from Portsmouth to Le Havre and back again.

1. CHECK HARBOUR PINS ARE OUT

2. DISCONNECT BATTERY CHARGING CABLE

3. RELEASE GRIPES

4. CHECK CLEAR TO LOWER

5. LOWER BOAT TO EMBARKATION POSITION

6. BOATS CREW BOARD - PLUGS IN

7. START ENGINE - EMBARK PASSENGERS

8. SLACKEN OFF BOWSING TACKLES

RELEASE OUTBOARD ENDS WHEN SLACK

9. LOWER BOAT TO WATER

10. UNHOOK BOAT FROM FALLS

11. COX'N DRIVES AHEAD

BOWMAN RELEASE PAINTER

I hope that they practise a bit from time to time otherwise I can see that following these instructions in a Force 8 gale with the ship tipping over to port (oh yes, I know these nautical terms, I've been on canals, you know) might be a bit tricky.

"Oy, we've got to slacken off the bowsing tackles next."

"Yerwha'?"

"BOWSING TACKLES! SLACKEN 'EM OFF!"

"Er - - okay. I think."

"And now you've got to release the outboard ends."

"Yerwha'?"

Though, as a matter of fact, since it's a French company and all the crew seemed to be French it would probably be more along the lines of,

"Qu'est-ce que c'est le bowsing tackle?"

"Je ne sais pas. Desole."

Fortunately we had calm seas and were able to study the lifeboat instructions at leisure whilst watching a distant ship sail into a very picturesque sunset.