Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Collective Noun for Bankers

“ - - Rod Laver. For the second time.”

“Good. And can you tell me the value of pi? The first twelve places will do.”


“The capital of Latvia, please?”


“Thank you, you have successfully completed the twenty-three security questions. And how may I help you today?”

“I’ve just got my bank statement and you have charged me £20 for an unauthorised overdraft. And I don’t want to pay it.”

“Hmm - - let me look - - well, on 18th February your account did dip just beyond your overdraft limit.”

“Yes, and on 19th February my pay came into the account. So it was over the limit for just one day and then it roared healthily into the black”

“Yes, well, according to the terms and conditions you still have to pay the £20.”

“May I just point out to you that we have been customers of your bank for over twenty years, and that you have made lots and lots of money from us in that time? And also that our mortgage is with you and you are making squillions of pounds from that too? So kindly waive the £20 fee.”

“Well, the terms and conditions apply to everyone, no matter how long they’ve been customers of the bank.”

“I see. So perhaps I’ll just change to the Halifax, like everyone else. Could you give me the bank manager’s name so I can write to explain why?”

“Errr - - could you hold the line a minute?”

I am to write to the manager who will look favourably upon reimbursing my £20.

Banks in general are thinking of ending free banking, apparently, and charging us a monthly fee for the privilege of lending them our money. Come on, folks, let’s not put up with it. Query every blasted charge they try to make. They make millions in profits every year, unlike me and, very probably, you.

Remember: the collective noun for Bankers is a Wunch.


Blogger Ailbhe said...

Done, and before 8:30 am, too! Thanks for the reminder.

1:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5:28 pm  

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