The Bathroom Fitter from Hell

This house needed a lot of work doing when we bought it from my parents (it still does, but at least now it’s mostly decorating, rather than all new windows etc). Most of the people who worked on it were great, particularly the two entertaining middle-aged men from Wigan who formed a delightful double-act as they put in a new central heating system. They even carried up the boiler-before-last from the cellar – the previous lot had refused but these two toiled on doggedly to carry it up the long flight of stone steps – it took them half an hour.

“I think we’ll be needing a cup of tea when we get to the top, and you won’t go pushing it down again, will you, Mrs F?”

But then there was the Bathroom Fitter from Hell and he came from NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS. Just in case you were thinking of having any work done on your house by NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS please remember that this was where the Bathroom Fitter from Hell came from – or, more likely, was sub-contracted from without any checks upon his skills whatever.

The saleswoman was fine and the bathrooms were fine. But as soon as the Bathroom Fitter from Hell turned up, looking bored, dirty (in a never-got-properly-clean kind of a way, not in an honest-day’s toil way) and casual in his attitude - he came from NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS by the way, did I mention that? – I knew I didn’t want him in my house and that he’d do a lousy job. Some people inspire confidence – he just inspired total lack of it. But I am too polite just to look at someone and say “I know already that you’re crap. Please go away.”

The first thing he did was ask for money up front “to buy materials”. I pointed out that he should get this from NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS and he should take it up with them. Ah, he said, but if I gave him some cash he would give me a free light fitting.

No, I said, I don’t want a free light fitting, just do the bathroom, please. I rang NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS and told them to tell him to stop asking me for money. I wish I’d been a bit more forceful and told them to tell him to get lost.

We wanted to keep the old bath, because we liked it, but by the time he’d put all his tools in it and scratched the enamel off I wished we hadn’t. He put all the tiles on so that the pattern didn’t match up. He put the sink in crooked so all the piping showed. Finally he built us a cupboard of such glorious flimsiness that the manager from NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS, summoned by me in a “Kindly get round here and look at this NOW” way, removed it with one swipe of his hand - and with considerable embarrassment, it must be said.

It all needed taking out and putting in again really. Everything was just slightly wrong. We banned the Bathroom Fitter from Hell from our house and someone else sorted it out, kind of. I wish now that I’d refused to pay them anything at all until it was all done properly. But we’d lost heart by then and I just wanted the job done, so they bodged it so it was all nearly, but not quite, right. I have never liked it. If we can ever afford it I will get the whole thing redone.

So, NORWOOD KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS, may I just point out to you that it’s no good having a flash showroom and a good sales force if you can’t back it up with skilled people where it really matters.