Ho flaming Ho
It's been a busy couple of days and I barely noticed it as I dashed into Tesco's this lunchtime, but there it was, festively lurking in the doorway - the first Christmas tree of 2006. Well, the first one I've seen anyway. Look, I've only just got used to it not being August, so a Christmas tree was a bit of a shock.
Better order my Christmas sofa then, have you ordered yours? No? Come on, get a move on, it might not be here in time for Christmas!
What is all this about sofas? What's this new Christmas-sofa tradition that dfs and other sofa emporiums are trying to thrust upon us?
Week after week in the adverts on telly we have some old celebrity has-been lounging on sofas telling us to buy NOW and it will be delivered in time for Christmas! How did we ever do Christmas without a new sofa? And what is this new tongue Sofaspeak in which the prices are announced?
ONLY FIVE NINE NINE! NOUGHT PERCENT INTEREST AND NOTHING TO PAY FOR A YEAR!
Five Nine Nine, of course, sounds much snappier and sexier than five hundred and ninety-nine pounds, and much cheaper than six hundred. Or so they would have us believe.
And as for the nothing to pay for a year nonsense - well, steer well clear, is my advice. Otherwise, when you've had your sofa for a year and the cat's ripped it and the baby's weed on it and you've spilled beer on it and you've crashed into it a few times with the hoover - - well, THEN you have to start paying for the bastard. And it's next Christmas already and time for a new one.
Better order my Christmas sofa then, have you ordered yours? No? Come on, get a move on, it might not be here in time for Christmas!
What is all this about sofas? What's this new Christmas-sofa tradition that dfs and other sofa emporiums are trying to thrust upon us?
Week after week in the adverts on telly we have some old celebrity has-been lounging on sofas telling us to buy NOW and it will be delivered in time for Christmas! How did we ever do Christmas without a new sofa? And what is this new tongue Sofaspeak in which the prices are announced?
ONLY FIVE NINE NINE! NOUGHT PERCENT INTEREST AND NOTHING TO PAY FOR A YEAR!
Five Nine Nine, of course, sounds much snappier and sexier than five hundred and ninety-nine pounds, and much cheaper than six hundred. Or so they would have us believe.
And as for the nothing to pay for a year nonsense - well, steer well clear, is my advice. Otherwise, when you've had your sofa for a year and the cat's ripped it and the baby's weed on it and you've spilled beer on it and you've crashed into it a few times with the hoover - - well, THEN you have to start paying for the bastard. And it's next Christmas already and time for a new one.
posted by Daphne at 12:01 am
2 Comments:
In days of old, all across Northern Europe, as the candles were snuffed out on the eve of the Mid-winter, the spectoral figure of St Nikolaus could be seen trudging through the cold snow. Hunched and leaning into the chill wind, a frayed and knotted hemp rope about his bulky shoulders, he dragged the huge festive Sofa throught the icy streets. He leant on the stump of a long dead tree, his hot breath misting about his bearded face and he rasped out his haunting cry "Oh. Five Nine Nine."
Haven't I seen this before?
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