Monday, December 04, 2006

I'd Like to Be A Celebrity Again Please Keep Me In Here Long Enough To Revive My Career

The latest series of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here has just finished (Matt Willis from the group Busted won, though I know already you don’t care and hadn’t heard of him before it all started).

A dozen or so “celebrities” are dropped in the jungle in Australia and have to perform certain trials and tasks to get food., and are then voted out one by one until one of them is left and wins. The trials they have to do tend to involve either something physically challenging and scary (bungee-jumping out of a helicopter) or something involving insects, toads, rats, snakes and any other creature that makes many people go “errrrgh”. The third kind of trial characteristically involves eating witchetty grubs or cooked rats’ tails or similar.

I had no clue who some of the so-called “celebrities” were, but yes, true confession, I love the programme. I would enjoy it just as much if they weren’t supposed to be celebrities – what interests me is how they change and develop and how they get on with each other (and I met a psychologist last week who loves it too, so there). Also the games are very entertaining in a “could I do that?” way.

And could I? I really don’t know how I’d react if asked to jump out of a plane or walk on a high platform amongst the trees but I like to think I’d have a go. The eating one I’m really not sure about – I think I would find that really difficult, just because I’m not used to eating anything that wriggles.

But the ones involving rats, snakes, insects - - oh, get a grip! There’s not going to be anything there that’s actually poisonous – the worst that will happen is you’ll get bitten a bit. Snakes don’t bother me, in fact I like them (we have Kelloggs, our very own Corn Snake, in a vivarium upstairs). I do wonder if some people on the programme make a huge fuss about how scared they are of snakes etc in order to come over as really, really brave when they have to face them.

David Gest, who was one of this year’s crop of celebrities, I had only heard of because he was married to Liza Minnelli. But he was very, very rich and clearly in real life employed people to do everything. By the end of his time in the jungle, the other celebrities were running around doing everything for him too. He seemed to have considerable charm and they mostly succumbed to it.

However, after he came out there was some film of his bodyguard instructing a maid in the hotel to get his - already immaculate, five-star – room ready. The pillows had to go, they were not good enough quality. The bed linen was terrible. She must disinfect all the woodwork. On and on and on, treating the maid like some form of slave. This short sequence, for me, undid any good that David Gest had done for his image in the jungle.

Every year I’m amazed by the fact that the “celebrities” never seem to have seen the programme. In spite of cameras and microphones everywhere, they seem to think that if they hide behind a bush and speak quietly, nobody will hear. They don’t know that in the jungle, everyone can hear you whisper.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look, David Gest's most intelligent contribution to the series was to condition the washing up because "it's a lot shinier now".

6:24 pm  

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