Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wetsuit Woman

I wasn't sure how to set about buying a wetsuit, really. I'd looked online at lots of places and I could tell that the wetsuits were all made for people who were six feet six inches tall and very, very narrow.

So I thought it would be a good idea to head for a sports shop and at least ask for some advice, even if it was going to be "Hahahahahaha you'll never get one to fit in a million years!"

I knew how it was likely to go, from past experience trying to buy a Formal Frock. My shoulders are wider than my hips and they just don't make women's clothes like that.

The way I used to buy a Formal Frock was this: turn up at shop, find a couple of dresses that were supposed to be my size, try them on, find that they fitted everywhere else but wouldn't go round my shoulders, try another shop, same thing, get upset, go home, pull out of Formal Occasion on flimsy excuse.

I have solved this problem recently by not going to any occasions which may require a Formal Frock. However - - - coming soon - - Olli's Graduation. PANIC!!!! Can you go to a graduation in jeans and a T-shirt, I wonder?

Anyway - - - I didn't want to have to pull out of the Great North Swim so I was determined to find a wetsuit.

It didn't start well. Here was the row of women's wetsuits:

(I expect this blog has now been found by avid readers of Rubber Weekly. Enjoy, folks, I'm not here to spoil your fun).

All these wetsuits varied in size from small to tiny. One was so small it should have come with its own magnifying glass just so you could find it in your wardrobe.

I found a Helpful Assistant. She looked thoughtful and produced a man's wetsuit.

It didn't fit, but it wasn't that far off. She produced another.

I tried it on. To my utter amazement, it fitted. True, the arms and legs were a little bit long but I could fold them back.

Eighty quid, which really isn't bad for a wetsuit. HURRAH!

On Saturday morning I plan to try it out at a country park and watersports centre. People swim in the lake there as part of a triathlon.

My friend Deb and I are going to miss out the cycling and the running bits and just swim, in our wetsuits, in the lake, to see what it's like. Ooh er.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant news - and you could probably even cut the too long bits off if they made your wrists/ankles too encumbered. Who needs a formal frock when they've got a wetsuit?
Enjoy your lake swimming at the weekend.

9:52 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

Daphne - I sincerely hope (and pray) that you will post a picture of yourself in the new wetsuit. It would be best if you posed against a white tiled shower-room wall with one foot raised and a hand on your hip. A pouting expression would be extra nice. Is there a zip at the front?

2:07 am  
Blogger Jennyta said...

Glad you managed to find one at last. (Ignore YP - he does so lower the tone!) ;)

10:11 am  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

Huzzah on finding your wetsuit!

There are two possibilities regarding a frock for Ollie's graduation: (1) Learn to sew; (2) Buy two identical outfits in different sizes, one that fits your top half and one that fits, well, you know, and pay a talented seamstress to sew together the parts that fit (and make a new set of curtains out of the parts that don't).

I never heard of Rubber Weekly...

1:55 pm  
Blogger Debby said...

Sure wish I could be there for your swim! I'll be cheering from here.

NO you may not wear jeans and a tee shirt to Olli's graduation! Get thee out and have a formal frock tailored. You'll then have it for other occasions and you'll never have to back out again! What about a fancy skirt/blouse set? That way the blouse could be one size and the skirt another?

2:40 pm  
Blogger Grumpy Old Ken said...

Bloody heck, gone for a lie down!

6:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, considering some of the things worn by the graduands when I was there, I'd say wear whatever you like!

Possibly even the wetsuit, though you may have to ask Olli's permission ;-)

Julie paradox

8:45 pm  
Anonymous Writeousindignation said...

Could you not wear the wetsuit as an undergarment - and then attach random pieces of cloth to your own design, in the style of Blue Peter (in fact you could possibly use double-sided sticky tape?)
That way, it fits AND looks trendily arty. People will mutter in awe about how Olli's Mum is a Free Spirit and Expresses Herself Through her Clothing (I express myself through my clothing all the time, when I can't hold the bulgy bits in).
We need to swap halves.I have narrow shoulders but hips that not one, but several crying babies could sit on. I inherited them form my grandmother, who told me they were 'childbearing' as though that was a Desirable Bonus. I give you... 2 c-sections. What a fibber!

10:35 am  
Blogger Daphne said...

Lucy - and I'm hoping the sun will shine on Saturday, too!
YP - I'm thinking about this. But not very much.
Jenny - thank you!
Bob - well, it's an idea. You should ask YP about "Rubber Weekly", he's been subscribing to it for years.
Debby - thank you, it's a good idea I know - - but I'd seriously be too scared to set foot in anywhere that might do such things.
Ken - - I do hope you feel better now!
Julie - - ahhh, now you're talking - - !!

8:31 pm  

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