Saturday, June 26, 2010

Cruel Punishment for Men

I bravely went shopping in town this morning. I didn't enjoy it. However, my friend and colleague Kate was wearing a really great top a couple of weeks ago, and told me where she got it. So I went to the same bit of the same shop and found three great tops - very different from hers but I liked - and bought - them all so she is My Heroine.

I'll be wearing one of them to Olli's graduation in July. I think I may already own a suitable black skirt to accompany it. If I don't, it'll be my jeans with a label pinned on them saying "Surely you can't expect me to go to town TWICE?"

But, because I am brave, and kind, I did all this shopping lark entirely on my own and without forcing anyone to accompany me. I have never, ever, taken anyone with me when I go shopping for clothes. Nobody deserves that much suffering. - - Oh, okay, I can think of a few who do, but Russell Brand, for example, has never offered to go clothes shopping with me.

I am ashamed to say that other women are not like this. They insists that their husbands or partners accompany them. Perhaps it's some kind of foreplay ritual before divorce.

So outside the changing room on a busy Saturday you get a long queue of women and a small gaggle of men, standing there looking uneasy and clutching hangers laden with plunging tops in different sizes.

Out comes Wife of a Certain Age and asks Bored-Looking Partner if she looks good in the leopardskin mini-skirt with gold top slashed to the waist.

"I thought I'd wear it with the hair clip with flowers on that we all wore that day at the Ocean Bar in Marbella," she says.

"Yeah, great," he mutters, shuffling his feet.

And that, of course, is Man-Speak for "I don't care. When does the next match start?"

So, ladies, I promise you that you won't get an honest answer. Next time, go on your own. Surely you can't dislike him THAT much?


Blogger Jennyta said...

I'm with you, Daphne. I always go shopping on my own although I do quite like shopping most of the time. I tend to go at the crack of dawn too, as I hate it when it gets crowded.

7:51 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, but we know we won't get an honest answer! We just need to be able to counter any criticism of what we wear with 'well, you said it looked good when I tried it on in the shop!'
Verification word - oodesms - exclamations of approval our girlfriends make on seeing our latest purchase

12:57 am  
Blogger Sarah said...

It's quite the opposite for me; my boyfriend takes me out shopping for clothes; he's all excited and interested, and I have the Bored Boyfriend face :P

1:21 am  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

How droll! Occasionally I find myself waiting outside ladies' changing rooms. Then Shirley comes out and asks what I think of the item she has donned. I never know what to say - especially as there are usually other people in the vicinity. Furthermore, schools never covered such situations during my formal education. Surely they could have reduced the time devoted to that damned algebra they were so fond of tormenting me with!

2:33 pm  

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