Planet Earth - My Part in its Downfall
A great change has come over checkout staff in supermarkets.
In previous sunny times, before we cared about the destruction of the planet, they'd happily hand over an armful of plastic carrier bags with a cheery smile.
All that's gone now.
As a matter of fact, I quite frequently take my own bags with me, and actually I do reuse them for all sorts of purposes - - bin liners - - cat litter - - but none of this is good enough, is it? Because today I forgot. Today I took my mother to Sainsbury's, which will be forever known as Smelly Aisle in our hearts because of the Dark Stench of Death in one of the aisles when it first opened.
So, having bought enough supplies for a couple of weeks, I heaved my loaded trolley to the checkout.
"Have you brought any of your own bags?"
"Er - - no, sorry."
She glared at me. "With shoppers like you," I could hear her thinking, "no wonder the Brazilian rainforest is nearly gone. And do you care nothing for the plight of the polar bear?" Grudgingly she gave me two carrier bags.
After I had carefully packed about a tenth of my shopping into these two bags, I bravely ventured forth, "Could I have some more bags, please?"
"What about the deforestation of the Philippines, then? And have you not seen how the Polar Ice Cap is melting?" she thought as she glowered and reluctantly handed over one more carrier bag.
Of course, I had filled it in about ten seconds and - with tremendous bravery, I thought - repeated "Could I have some more bags, please?"
"And you just don't care that the whole of England's green and pleasant land will soon be more landfill than land, do you?" she was thinking. One more bag was handed over.
And so we continued, one carrier bag at a time, until my eight bags of shopping were packed in the trolley.
I wondered whether it's Sainsbury's new policy and whether all their checkout staff have been told to economise on carrier bags. Perhaps the one who gives out the fewest gets a bonus.
If Sainsbury's and the other supermarkets really, really cared about the state of the planet, of course, they'd stop importing green beans by plane from Guatemala or whatever. They'd say, "Sorry, but from now on we are only going to stock local produce. No more strawberries in February. But the Yorkshire rhubarb's delicious."
They don't really care, of course: it's a token gesture so we'll all feel better. And I do believe in reusing carrier bags.
But on the occasions when I forget, or if I've just run out of bags, I don't like having to ask for every single flaming carrier bag, one at a time. I was wondering how many times I'm expected to do this before I'll be justified in throwing a big tantrum and yelling "I don't CARE about the state of the planet! Just give me ENOUGH SODDING CARRIER BAGS FOR MY SHOPPING, OKAY?"
I'm having Yorkshire rhubarb for tea. It is delicious. When the polar ice cap melts and the whole of East Anglia is underwater, it won't be my fault.
In previous sunny times, before we cared about the destruction of the planet, they'd happily hand over an armful of plastic carrier bags with a cheery smile.
All that's gone now.
As a matter of fact, I quite frequently take my own bags with me, and actually I do reuse them for all sorts of purposes - - bin liners - - cat litter - - but none of this is good enough, is it? Because today I forgot. Today I took my mother to Sainsbury's, which will be forever known as Smelly Aisle in our hearts because of the Dark Stench of Death in one of the aisles when it first opened.
So, having bought enough supplies for a couple of weeks, I heaved my loaded trolley to the checkout.
"Have you brought any of your own bags?"
"Er - - no, sorry."
She glared at me. "With shoppers like you," I could hear her thinking, "no wonder the Brazilian rainforest is nearly gone. And do you care nothing for the plight of the polar bear?" Grudgingly she gave me two carrier bags.
After I had carefully packed about a tenth of my shopping into these two bags, I bravely ventured forth, "Could I have some more bags, please?"
"What about the deforestation of the Philippines, then? And have you not seen how the Polar Ice Cap is melting?" she thought as she glowered and reluctantly handed over one more carrier bag.
Of course, I had filled it in about ten seconds and - with tremendous bravery, I thought - repeated "Could I have some more bags, please?"
"And you just don't care that the whole of England's green and pleasant land will soon be more landfill than land, do you?" she was thinking. One more bag was handed over.
And so we continued, one carrier bag at a time, until my eight bags of shopping were packed in the trolley.
I wondered whether it's Sainsbury's new policy and whether all their checkout staff have been told to economise on carrier bags. Perhaps the one who gives out the fewest gets a bonus.
If Sainsbury's and the other supermarkets really, really cared about the state of the planet, of course, they'd stop importing green beans by plane from Guatemala or whatever. They'd say, "Sorry, but from now on we are only going to stock local produce. No more strawberries in February. But the Yorkshire rhubarb's delicious."
They don't really care, of course: it's a token gesture so we'll all feel better. And I do believe in reusing carrier bags.
But on the occasions when I forget, or if I've just run out of bags, I don't like having to ask for every single flaming carrier bag, one at a time. I was wondering how many times I'm expected to do this before I'll be justified in throwing a big tantrum and yelling "I don't CARE about the state of the planet! Just give me ENOUGH SODDING CARRIER BAGS FOR MY SHOPPING, OKAY?"
I'm having Yorkshire rhubarb for tea. It is delicious. When the polar ice cap melts and the whole of East Anglia is underwater, it won't be my fault.
posted by Daphne at 5:50 pm
3 Comments:
They're supposed to offer help with your packing too, but half of them don't, so I always ask them now. Mind you, I haven't yet plucked up the courage to do what someone I know does, ask them if they would like some help packing your shopping! I'm working up to that one. :)
I have to say I'm surprised you got ANY bags for free as when I left 5 months ago, I thought all supermarkets were going to charge for them. Maybe they got negative feedback and stopped that idea but are just making you feel like a dolphin eater by giving out one bag at a time.
I'll just reverse my SUV through the plate glass window right up to the checkout and let them pack my groceries into the back.
Who needs bags then ?!
And when the whole of East Anglia is underwater, perhaps you can survive by raising your house onto stilts of that wonderful Yorkshire rhubarb....
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