Particle Physics Made Simple
I've always been rather suspicious of physics. Our teacher at school, Mrs Dack, was forever giving us demonstrations that didn't work.
"So I'm sucking all the air out of this tin can and now we can all watch it collapse."
It didn't collapse. It just sat there.
And, because we were good girls, we all slaved one weekend over the springs. If you put a weight of, say, an ounce, on the bottom of a spring, and it stretches three inches, how far will it stretch if you put two ounces on it?
Well, you'd think it would be six inches, wouldn't you? But we had inferior springs which just lost all their springiness and stretched out completely so they were about a foot long.
We knew this wasn't the right answer. "Try it at home with rubber bands," said Mrs Dack, who clearly didn't know that a rubber band doesn't quite behave like a spring does.
The whole of North Leeds was phoning a friend and trying to come up with the correct answer. In the end she didn't mark this homework - she decided it was too difficult or something - and I didn't really forgive her. Or physics, for being so tricksy.
It's because of this lack of faith in physics that I'm a bit worried about the end of the world on Wednesday.
On Wednesday they press the big switch on the Large Hadron Collider, which is the world's largest particle accelerator, in Switzerland. You want any particles accelerating, this is the one for the job.
They're hoping to find the Higgs Boson, or God Particle. It's very small, apparently, so it's just possible it'll be lying around on the floor somewhere after they've finished colliding things. What if they miss it and the cleaners mop it up? Has anyone thought of that?
Anyway, it may just go a bit wrong, like Mrs Dack's experiments. The good news is that, if it does, we won't know much about it. The bad news is that that's because it may just create a black hole that will eat the whole Earth.
If that happens on Wednesday, I'll be really cross because I'm supposed to be going to Barrow in Furness on Thursday, and I'm looking forward to it.
I've told you all you need to know now. To sum up, if you were planning a trip to the supermarket on Wednesday, I'd leave it till Thursday if I were you, just in case it turns out to be entirely unnecessary.
If you want to know more, this video's quite fun.
"So I'm sucking all the air out of this tin can and now we can all watch it collapse."
It didn't collapse. It just sat there.
And, because we were good girls, we all slaved one weekend over the springs. If you put a weight of, say, an ounce, on the bottom of a spring, and it stretches three inches, how far will it stretch if you put two ounces on it?
Well, you'd think it would be six inches, wouldn't you? But we had inferior springs which just lost all their springiness and stretched out completely so they were about a foot long.
We knew this wasn't the right answer. "Try it at home with rubber bands," said Mrs Dack, who clearly didn't know that a rubber band doesn't quite behave like a spring does.
The whole of North Leeds was phoning a friend and trying to come up with the correct answer. In the end she didn't mark this homework - she decided it was too difficult or something - and I didn't really forgive her. Or physics, for being so tricksy.
It's because of this lack of faith in physics that I'm a bit worried about the end of the world on Wednesday.
On Wednesday they press the big switch on the Large Hadron Collider, which is the world's largest particle accelerator, in Switzerland. You want any particles accelerating, this is the one for the job.
They're hoping to find the Higgs Boson, or God Particle. It's very small, apparently, so it's just possible it'll be lying around on the floor somewhere after they've finished colliding things. What if they miss it and the cleaners mop it up? Has anyone thought of that?
Anyway, it may just go a bit wrong, like Mrs Dack's experiments. The good news is that, if it does, we won't know much about it. The bad news is that that's because it may just create a black hole that will eat the whole Earth.
If that happens on Wednesday, I'll be really cross because I'm supposed to be going to Barrow in Furness on Thursday, and I'm looking forward to it.
I've told you all you need to know now. To sum up, if you were planning a trip to the supermarket on Wednesday, I'd leave it till Thursday if I were you, just in case it turns out to be entirely unnecessary.
If you want to know more, this video's quite fun.
posted by Daphne at 4:32 pm
10 Comments:
I blogged about this last week, then Ryan did, then Mike, then you. I guess we're all worried about that button being pressed! Being sucked into a black hole is not my favourite way of spending a Wednesday. Though with work the way it is, it's probably the lesser of two evils! ;)
Ah well, Bun, it'll spare you the job-hunting. I'm trying to look on the bright side.
I love that big Hadron thingy - I want one - I want to create my Own black hole - no one will sell me one - its so unfair.
I have just checked with a phyicist friend and he says that the world does indeed end on Wednesday -
- unless someone can decode the parsis equilamberator and diverge flydergloss numbers at the stargate vertices mirror Hadron.
Luckily I am the very person to do this. If you are all here on Thursday I expect some sort of monetary reward for saving the planet - can't ask fairer than that, can yer.
Yes that's Phyicist NOT Physicist. All Phyicists have had the S sucked out of their name by the Hadron machine.
Barrow in Furness? I thought you said you were going to America! Even Mrs Dack would have known that that godforsaken town lies on this side of the Atlantic.
Torchwood Lost Souls 2.15 Wednesday
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/bigbang/torchwood.shtml
Hey! I'm still here! How about that? YAY!
The vid was fun!
Well, it's eight o'clock on Wednesday evening and we all seem to still be here. Thanks for all your comments, everyone (just in case the Earth disappears overnight).
Yorkshire Pudding - - yes, well Barrow may be notorious as the North-West's end-of-the-world industrial town - - but there are some lovely places there. Please don't tell anyone though or lots of people will turn up and ruin it.
I actually prefer my news and education to be delivered through the medium of song. Sky and BBC should take note...
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