Thursday, January 18, 2007


I don’t usually have a problem waking up on time. If it’s important, I set both the alarm clock and the alarm on my mobile phone and then I wake up two minutes before either of them goes off.

So it was strange, this morning, when I woke up at twenty past eight knowing full well that I had set both alarms for half past six. I had intended to set off for Huddersfield, where I was working, at quarter to eight to leave plenty of time.

Nobody seemed to be about so, cursing them all for not waking me, I rushed into the shower.

I turned the water on and it was only then that I noticed that I was wearing a pair of bright blue socks which I had no recollection of ever owning.

Aha! I thought. It all makes sense now. These are not my socks. This is not my reality. And this is because I am dreaming.

And that was when I woke up. It was half past five. I didn’t need to wake up for another hour. But I was now wide awake and of course could not get back to sleep because of the panic caused by thinking I had overslept. So I lay there miserably until half past six when I got up. I was wearing no blue socks.

As a result, this evening, I’m very tired. And the weather didn’t help. The force of the wind was amazing. This time I wasn’t dreaming.

As I left the tall old mill in Huddersfield a tile tried to fall on my head, finally missing me by about ten yards. As I drove back to Leeds, I found my usual route back was blocked so set off to find my way back via Wakefield. A large branch hurtled towards my windscreen and hit it with a loud bang – luckily the windscreen didn’t shatter.

On the motorway, because of the exceptionally strong winds, there were signs everywhere: HGVS LEAVE THE MOTORWAY.

The HGV drivers took this to mean HGVS PLEASE STAY ON THE MOTORWAY UNTIL YOU BLOW OVER. That’s what you took it to mean, wasn’t it, Mr. Kidds Transport of Lancaster? You just doggedly drove past every exit, wobbling all over the road and looking about to tip over at every moment, just to add to my excitement as I tried to stay a safe distance behind you all the way from Wakefield to Leeds.

Finally, as I neared home, a tree fell across the road about a hundred yards in front of me and I had to do a nifty little detour, bypassing yet another fallen tree, to get back.

It’s been a long day, very enjoyable in some ways, difficult in others. I am not putting blue socks on before I go to bed. It’s useful to be able to identify your dreams.


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