We've been Robbied

Bad puns - they're not big and they're not clever and yet they're so hard to resist.

When I met Robbie Williams I said to him look, Robbie, your music's not really to my taste but I must say you're really rather good at what you do - that Angel is really difficult to sing and you make it sound very easy.

His reply remains unknown because then I woke up. I think dreaming about Robbie Williams is a bit naff and frankly I think it's quite brave of me to confess it.

Anyway, perhaps Robbie's been dreaming of me too, because in a vain effort to get closer to me he has arranged two concerts in Roundhay Park which is ten minutes from where I live. It's causing chaos.

They have closed the car park and filled it with trucks and men in yellow jackets, one of whom asked me why I was taking photographs.

"Ah well," I said respectably, "my daughter's a big Robbie Williams fan so I know she'd want some pictures of them setting everything up." - Oh, I see, he said, and went away without confiscating my camera or throwing me into a police cell.

(NB SHE ISN'T A ROBBIE WILLIAMS FAN, SHE REALLY ISN'T, IT WAS A BIG FAT LIE SORRY EMILY)

Because they got rid of the rather wild and fun children's playground that was up on the hill and replaced it with a small dull version next to the car park, they have had to close it because of Robbie. That's my only complaint really. Although I like the park for its peace and quiet, I think it's a Good Thing that they put these concerts on there a couple of times a year because lots of people enjoy them. At the moment Leeds is on a "restore the park to its Victorian splendour" kick which translated as "get rid of the little fairground" which I think is a shame - it's a huge park, the largest municipally-owned park in Europe, I'm told, and there's enough room for both Victorian splendour and a bit of fun.

I live near enough to hear the concerts from our garden which is always enough to convince me that I made the right decision in keeping away. So when Robbie shouts out "Where are you, Daffers, I've been dreaming about you," I will be able to hear him, but he won't be able to hear my reply.