Simian

Many people don't like snakes, or creatures with lots of legs. I do like snakes - as long as they're not poisonous - and I don't mind any insects or spiders. One friend always used to ring and ask me to go round whenever she needed saving from Death by Daddy-Long-Legs.

It's monkeys and apes, which many people like, that I find a bit creepy.

I don't like the word "simian" either, and I'm not sure why.

Here are two monkeys that were peering at me in the park recently.

That nearly-like-a-human-being-but-not-quite quality is what I'm not sure about.

As a child, I never liked the Chimps' Tea Party at the zoo and I always hated those television commercials for tea with all the chimpanzees dressed up as people. "Ah - look - they're so cute - they're just like us really, aren't they?"

Those commercials made me - still make me when I think about them - feel really uneasy. Fortunately, times have changed for the better in some respects and they are gone, along with the chimps' tea party.

We're fairly close, DNA-wise, to the big, generally placid vegetarian gorillas: but we're even closer to chimpanzees. We've always liked to think of chimps as cuddly, clumsy, affectionate childlike versions of ourself - witness Michael Jackson and his pet Bubbles.

They're not. The chimpanzees used in tea parties and commercials were all the younger ones - older chimpanzees were too unpredictable and aggressive.

Finally, after all the years of presenting cuddlychimpness to an adoring public, the public saw the first television documentary that showed the less-well-known side of chimpanzee behaviour. A group of chimpanzees chased some monkeys, caught them, tore them to pieces and ate them with evident relish.

Aah - they're just like us, really, aren't they?