Sunday, November 08, 2009

One Thing and Then Another

There have been a lot of changes in my life over the past couple of years. The last time I remember when things were "normal" - or normal for me, anyway! - was when Stephen and I went on holiday with my parents to the Lake District in June 2006.

I wrote a blog post - an early one - about it.

I posted a photo of my mother reading the paper in the cottage where we were staying, and the Communist asleep on the sofa next to her.

On that holiday I took lots of photos, including one of the Communist sitting in one of his favourite spots in the stunning Duddon valley:

Here's the view he was looking at:

I knew, even when I wrote the posts about that holiday, that one day I'd be looking back and thinking - as I'm thinking now - that it seemed so ordinary, and now it's gone forever.

The Communist is dead, of course. My mother now has a broken shoulder, which will probably heal, but may take a long time, and which may change her life for ever. Until last week, she could swim half a mile without any problem - she'll probably never be able to again.

I'm not a pessimist, I'm a cup half full kind of person. I know - of COURSE I know - that there are many, many people having a worse time than we've had over the past few years.

And some of the things that have happened have been wonderful, of course.

But sometimes I think - oh, I'm so fed up of the bad ones. I don't know how people bear them. I don't know how I do, and I don't know if I can. I always think of myself as very resilient - - well, I'm fed up of it. I'm fed up of having to be.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes resilience is too much of a good thing.
Have you thought of sneaking a duvet day... or stepping off the treadmill for a short while.
We can't all 'bear up' all of the time, that's for sure.
Or focus on that beautiful view of the Duddon valley.

10:10 pm  
Blogger Daphne said...

Anonymous - many thanks for your lovely comment, much appreciated.

10:16 pm  
Anonymous ruth said...

I am so sorry for your fed upness but I think you should cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to be fed up.

However, it may be good to find at least one positive thing you can focus on or look forward to each day or each week. It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be watching an episode of a favourite tv programme, going for a walk or swimming, eating a much loved meal. That way, in the midst of the gloom, you can see a tiny twinkling light.

11:43 pm  
Blogger Jennytc said...

I agree. You're allowed to be fed up sometimes. It does seem that life throws patches of time at us that are particularly difficult and you end up wondering when things will get better.

8:49 am  
Blogger Debby said...

Yes, I've been there. Sure, I've never had your exact problems, but I've sure felt the 'I've had enough' feeling.

Remember it could always be worse. Don't think about your problems, your life for a while. Think about something worse. It helps me to remember that what I'm going through might suck, but it could always suck a whole lot more. I believe that.

It's not fair, you don't deserve it, I wish I could make it all bout a big old hug from me to you? {{{{{{{Daphne}}}}}

9:17 pm  

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