Saturday, August 01, 2009

Broad Shoulders

Stephen and Olli are Thin People.

"I have to eat almost constantly," said Olli, plunging into another bowl of cereal, "or I lose weight".

And this is true.

Stephen is the living proof that all that stuff they tell you about exercise is true. If you cycle twelve miles a day, as he does, you will lose weight. And he wasn't exactly podgy to start with. "Turn him sideways and you can't see him," said Amy's husband Frank when Stephen and I first met, years ago, and he was very nearly right. Six feet one, eight stone, he was then. Sighhh.

He weighs a bit more than that now, but I am constantly trying to make him eat more - healthy - things to make sure he doesn't get thinner. Oh, okay, and more chocolate too, just because he likes it.

I am not a Thin Person.

When I was a small child, someone should, perhaps, have said to me "Ah, no, don't go swimming! Your shoulders are broad enough already!"

Now, look, I'm forever reading about overweight people who say it's because they have a big build and they can't help it and you just know it's rubbish. And then there are other people who look massive and then they lose loads of weight and inside them is a beautiful size 10 waiting to get out. (I think that's a size 8, if you're in the USA!)

That's not true in my case, oh no. There's no size 10 inside me, or even a size 12. With me it's my back. It's just broad. Jewish peasant ancestry, I put it down to. My back is the width of Russia.

And I have proof! Once upon a time, in 1984, when I was very ill, I lost lots and lots and lots of weight because I couldn't eat for two months. I was stick thin. I was astonished to see my twig-like arms and legs. I have to say, it wasn't a good look, especially when accompanied by a green complexion - - and, most annoyingly of all, I was still a size 14 (that's American size 12).

Now I'm a British size 18 - - but heading downwards. Since I came off the hideous Gliclazide tablets in early July - they raise your insulin levels so make you want to eat all the time - I've been losing weight slowly, but steadily.

But, sadly, I'm never going to find a size 10 underneath. If I can find a size 16, I'll be pleased and if I can find a size 14 - a healthier-looking one than in 1984 - I'll be thrilled, though I suspect that's unlikely. Size zero? If I die, (notice the "if" because I live in hopes) and some archaeologist digs up my skeleton, they'll say "Blimey! She was never a size zero, was she?"

Does it bother me? Yes, of course, it always has done.
Can I do anything about it? Well, not really, though I could lose some more weight, which would help a bit.
Should I count my blessings and stop complaining? Yes, I jolly well should.
Oh, okay then, I'll stop grumbling now. For the moment.

And if you have troubles, you can tell them to me, for I have broad shoulders.


Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

Miles Brubaker, with whom I used to work before I retired, had to eat all the time and never gained any weight. He was 6 feet, 6 inches tall -- 5 feet, 18, he called it -- and was skinny as a rail. Kept boxes of goodies squirreled away in various parts of his office so that something to munch on was never far away. Me, I merely think about food and have to let out my belt.

I can relate. Except about the broad shoulders. My son has those.

My condolences. I laughed at the thought of the archaeologist saying "Blimey, etc."!

2:45 pm  
Blogger Kim said...

I used to be able to eat whatever I want without putting on weight, now I'm moving in to my mid-twenties and its all changing, I have to watch what I eat now, oddly enough I eat a healthier diet now than I ever did, and I'm now the heaviest I have ever been, maybe I needed to put the weight on :p

10:03 pm  
Blogger Debby said...

There's a size 10 inside of me. I ate her!

3:49 am  

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