Saturday, October 07, 2006

Thank You for Reading This Meaningless Notice

If I had to choose a favourite supermarket (and the words "favourite" and "supermarket" don't sit easily together in my mind) it would be Sainsbury's I suppose.

Our local Somerfield, however, has by far the friendliest staff, and they don't miss a trick, or let the customers miss one either.

"Ooh no, you've only got one pack of toilet rolls and they're three for the price of two. How about buying another one? Okay? Maisie! MAISIE! GET ANOTHER PACK OF TOILET ROLLS FOR THIS LADY, PLEASE, THE ONES ON SPECIAL OFFER. Now then, are you sure you want these apples? The Braeburns are much better value. I'll get someone to carry it all out for you, you don't want to be pushing this lot up that slope."

But Somerfield is small and doesn't have everything I want, so I can't shop there all the time, entertaining though it is.The Tesco's is brightly-lit and frenetic and I only go there when I have to. The Sainsbury's is relatively civilised, though they're currently doing it up and making it huge. Once in there, that'll be the whole of Saturday gone and most of Sunday too and you'll need a large van parked outside to carry all the clothes and South American woven rugs and Jamie Oliver vegetable choppers that you never meant to buy.

But Sainsbury's is prone to excessive use of Notices.

What's this for? Somewhere at Sainsbury's Head Office, the Person in Charge of Meaningless Notices decided that reading this notice as I queued to leave the car park would give me a warm glow inside. "So long Somerfield, tarra to Tesco," I would think, "Asda's an Asbeen, No to Netto, Waitrose are a waste of space! No, from now on, it's Sainsbury's for me!"

Actually, what I did think was that the Person in Charge of Meaningless Notices had the bright idea that we all needed to see this notice and drew it neatly on a piece of paper and then they went to the Big Boss Person and showed them and they were really excited by it and it was sent to Sainsbury's signwriters (a firm which is rapidly growing rich on making Meaningless Notices) who expressed similar thrillment and set up a production line to make one for every Sainsbury's in the land.

Even better, it says something on the back too, and I bet you can guess what. But perhaps Sainsbury's are correct: perhaps the whole thing's a really good idea. So, for now (and ONLY for now, I'll be ranting again tomorrow about something else)


thank you for reading this blog


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The annoying thing for me is that each of these signs must have cost a lot to make and install. All it makes me think is that they must be making too much profit...

As an aside I can't help noticing that there are no capital letters. Has Wakefield Council (your previous post) managed to buy them all up, leaving none for anyone else? Or does Sainsbury's not care enough about their customers to be bothered to get it right?

4:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe the printers had a Buy One Get One Free offer

10:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Morrison's in town has a sign saying:

Customers are reminded to pay for goods before leaving the store.


6:55 pm  

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