Sunday, October 01, 2006

The European Capital Letter Mountain

There's a big surplus of capital letters in Europe at the moment. Millions of them, there are, on the loose, wandering the streets, waiting to be caught and given good homes.

I think it was very kind of Wakefield Metropolitan District Council to capture so many Capital Letters and then store them all on This Notice:
The Trouble Is, as soon as you start Writing with Lots of Capital Letters, it makes everything look Very Very Pompous Indeed.

And as soon as I see something that tells me to do something or not to do something using Lots of Capital Letters, it makes me want to Do the Very Opposite of What I'm Told.

So when I read "DO NOT Park in this Car Park if your Vehicle Weighs more than 30 cwt (1524kg)" I immediately had the urge to go and find a huge truck, steal it (having first ensured it weighs more than 30 cwt which as we all know is 1524kg) and PARK IT IN THEIR CAR PARK shouting "A Pox On Your Hundred Pound Fine!"

I didn't: I went to see Hard Times at Wakefield Theatre Royal performed by the excellent Compass Theatre Company instead. It was great - if you get the chance to see it, do (and our actress Sonia Beck was superb in it).

But I give Wakefield Metropolitan District Council fair warning: if the play had been bad I would have left at the interval and gone off hunting for a very big lorry, or as they would call it, a Very Big Lorry. So think on.


Blogger John said...

Imagine if you got a Foreign Registered Vehicle that Weighed more than 30 cwt or even 152kg, and Left it There for a Week. wAkeField metRopoliTan coUnciL would go into a FLAT SPIN - wheeeeeeeeeee

8:37 pm  

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