Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Shortest Swim Ever

It's always a bit of a pain getting out of bed to go swimming on a Sunday morning but once I'm in the water I love it. So I always have to keep reminding myself of this as I get ready to go.

And so it was this morning. Get up, feel dreadful, hate it, eat porridge, get ready, drive there (only eight minutes or so), get into the pool - - bliss!

Swim a length - - swim back again - - two done, sixty-eight to go - -

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A loud klaxon sounded.

"THE pH OF THE POOL IS TOO LOW. YOU'LL ALL HAVE TO GET OUT! NOW!" shouted the swimming-pool attendant, in the manner of an officer tending a prisoner-of-war camp.

I find this about swimming-pool attendants. I think they are all thwarted PE teachers of the kind who enjoy blowing whistles and making small children stand about in lines on freezing playing fields.

"YOU'VE GOT TO GET SHOWERED OFF!" yelled the Camp Commander. "THE pH IS TOO LOW!"

An apology would have been nice, I thought, but none was forthcoming - - people who thrill to their ability to blow whistles and shout a lot don't tend to do apologies.

So, reluctantly, we all clambered out, and had showers to get the nasty alkaline water off our skin, and - in my case - texted our friends to tell them not to bother coming this morning.

The receptionist is friendly though and as I went out she said "I'm really sorry you've had to get out of the pool," which definitely helped. Why don't people realise that a "sorry" is such a good thing?

One of the managers was standing next to her and he explained that it will take a while to sort out. At the moment the pool is too alkaline and so would at best irritate the skin and at worst dissolve the swimmers. But it's easy to make it too acidic and if that happens apparently it's much harder to restore the correct balance. So they will have to increase the acidity a bit at a time. (Gareth suggested later that they'll squeeze lemon juice into the water, a few drops at a time. That kind of thing.)

See? There's a lot to looking after swimming pools. And there was I, thinking that all that they did to keep it in its usual state was to go round first thing and chuck in a few used sticking-plasters and a scattering of pubic hairs.

Ewwwww. I wish that I hadn't written that last sentence. Too late now. Sorry.


Blogger Silverback said...

Well you said sorry so I guess it's ok but really Daphne......

11:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scary. I would be really worried about that swimming pool (and its attendants). If the pH is too low (less than 7 going on down to 1) it is already acidic.

Alkaline = high pH
(greater than 7 going on up to 14)

I would take my own personal pH meter if I were you... then you can check it for yourself, having already looked on the web for a nominal safe range.

1:17 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

"Ewwww" is an excellent sentence! So descriptive even though it totally ignores established rules for sentence construction. It's the previous sentence that disturbed me.

1:23 pm  
Blogger Yorkshire Pudding said...

...Mind you. What's wrong with pubic hairs in a pubic swimming pool?

1:24 pm  
Blogger Jennyta said...

Right, well - not that I was anyway but I am definitely not going swimming now - no way, Jose!

2:26 pm  
Blogger JeannetteLS said...

Nothing like a good old pubic hair reference to make an afternoon fly by. Yes. Indeed a "sorry" does a lot. An ewwwwwww does even more! Have a good week.

8:00 pm  
Anonymous Ruth said...

aaarrrghhh! I'm really sorry I read that sentence. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth... no, don't go there!

1:05 pm  
Blogger Helsie said...

I agree with all the ewwwwwws.
I hope you got a refund as you left?

5:37 am  

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